2000

A vessel to the craft of inept
Breed me a change, bake me a chain
Flock with the illusion monger
Carnival of the hideous splits longer

An untamed notion sits quietly in the corner
Without a sow and grim reaper
Shrouded and convulsed
Am I this archetype chained pretender

Eradicate whats left of this abyss
Swim into the circle of fire again
Each step is a blackhole on its own
Beyond the hopeless spoils and the fame

A steep climb to the endless realms
Of addiction to this hollowed scripture
That slight push to mild the Midas touch
That one idea, how badly it paints the whole picture

Breed me this change, shake me to the core
Nothing makes sense anymore
A vision that makes the skies carmine
Skyscrapers stretched to the end of the horizon

Roads filled with meteor shower
Clouds touching the highest of his towers
No longer a fiction but its the child's dream
A world crafted once that none dared to think

Resolved and perfected over the years
And all the old weaknesses have begun to shrink
New world order, enigma of one soul
This child who saw the picture as a whole

A testament to his greatest creation
For centuries to come and to the end of all scrolls
Equilibrium of power entrenched
Science and psychedelia propounded
Realizations of the most unthinkable brilliance
Embrace this future,a present perfect tense.

Lestat

Sometimes my reflection appears vague,

Falling upon scabs of those endless remains

It picks up rags of those withered unattended

And gaze upon the past, that once made sense

Surrendered to the everyday that comes

Without a thought and without a reason

Like the nail that pierces inches deep

A soul, burned by the heat of a million suns

I touch the cold and ugly stalemate

An emptied mind with nothing much to lose

A body that decayed under a misplaced fate
A heart that died long before it could choose

Sometimes my reflection appears vague,
Cries through a haunted nemesis inside
What does it behold in the eye of the beholder
Or is it just me, the fallen canvas on the other side
Betrayed by the every night that comes
A distant glimpse where my darkness thrive
I am a vampire that sleeps through the thirst
With no remorse I can drink you alive
Ageless and Emptiness are my hands of clock
In this timeless realm, my curse resides
And a lifeless life that I slowly perish
Your blood is what keeps me alive

Caseless

Sometimes my eyes open up in the middle of an dark abstract. Its still and motionless within the mind. After all there is nothing much to feel good. And how can it be ? A lifetime of failures keeps resonating all day long and every time I blend with the crowd, I'm just a lost face in the millions. Who cares ? No one.

Most of the time, my self-esteem remains in an all time low. There is a natural tendency to sit in the last corners of any room, restaurant,metro trains or any public places.  I feel a comfort in being anonymous and not seen. I hate any light that falls on my face. I prefer to stay in the dark. Since when ? 8.

I open up to no one. I have no one with whom I can share anything thats there in my mind or feel in my heart. Thats how it has been since the last decade ever since I moved out of school. Its an abyss that I crave to swim everyday with a false impression I put up with the reality around me. Why so ? Doesn't matter. 

So, all I have is this Backyard, where I can speak of whatever there is. I have no dreams , no hope and no life. And this acts a source of my dark creativity.  This pure sense of disconnect with the entire world is what keeps me alive.  A emptied and chalked out mind, with a heart that pumps blood only to serve its biological purpose has created a distinct realm of nothingness driven life. Am I nihilist ? May be.

Emptica

Some shades are hard to find
The ones that shields the broken
And the curtain falls slowly behind
Ending a life,that was never chosen

Silence for years renders the heart to stone
Waves of nothingness crushes
Upon the aisle of all that remains
I walk this lifeless city without a trace

Dreams echoes in the haunting wind
Coldness holds me tightly by the skin
Rusted and lost, I paint my world
Of scars and the heart I could never win

The horizon awaits for the falling twilight
I walk these deserted streets
Clueless, without a thought looking for your sight
Upon the street, Flows a river of my tears
Thats dried and long dead
And its all locked inside my head
All of the nothing that you said

I stop by this street and pick up a broken stone
It looks tired and dead by the bone
For ages it has been rusted, crushed and thrown
In a world of indifference, it has lived and grown

My gaze gets fixed on this stone
My hands tremor by this sight
Inside a forlorn corner of its ending
It reflects all that is me inside

Beyond this nameless oblivion
I still cherish the brightness in your life that has flown
While I grab the stone closer to my heart
and walk this lost city all alone

Happy Birthday Backyard Stains

Today , it makes it 4 years today since my first work was posted (Black Clue). It has been a  humble experience so far. In the journey, I was fortunate enough to make really wonderful friends here who are also readers and followers of the stains.

I thank all my reader friends who put their time and effort to read my work , send feedback and their heartfelt suggestions and encouraged me to improve my writing over the years.

While, time does not permit me to write frequently any longer,however I'll try to write a little every once in a while.

Thanks
Everyone ! 

Quadrant

For all the years that swayed away
A drift towards an ever unknown I
Silently cried and smiled all the way

A last memory of your face
Painted inside my mind for timeless
Echoes of the past, I still hold
on to something beyond hope
beyond reasons
beyond all seasons

I walk everyday , like the times that swifts away
I become the time, the one who fades away
Wish I was a wind in the fade,
Wish I could reside in your every breathe

I'm the hands of the clock, that moves again
And again, in times of all the emptiness and pain
Wish You were a wind the fade
Wish you could see me inside this wait

For all the years that swayed away
Wish our memories could speak again
In our dreams and when we fall awake
And bring us together , for the old times sake

Echelon Dust

Ascending towards an ever unknown
Withering glory, timelessly flown
He hears the sky burst into tears
Lifeless void surrounds to applause
As he wears the last king's crown

Reaching forward, eyes moist with
Rusted blood , those insatiable tears
Of the thousands souls fallen
He has none but himself to fear
A shaded grey path , crystal clear

Crawling his body above the stairs
Reaching for oceans of redemption
Is this how it ends ? Is this how it was started ?
Are we still inside the forgone inception ?

Skies turned violet and carmine,
At the top of a shapeless mountain
He stood there with a forlorn smile
Looking high above for a while

Waiting for an answer,
Looking for a clue
But the questions were a deep cancer
Diminishing his breathe in every view

Shimmering light from the sky calls for his soul
He falls for the warp inside
"Please take me away to the blackhole"
He cried,
"And take me to the other side"

Primoris

A mortal weakness
Insolent within a genotype
Of neural miniature
Covets of dissolution
Where the dreams die and strive

A withering memory
Blaze upon the fabric of disdain
Isolation feeding the soul
The soul feeds the pain
Scattered remains
Of a life that went in vain

A shapeless form
Bound to vessels of an abstract
Flocking together credulously
Reminding the body
That life is nothing but a parody
Distorted and carmine facts

A flawless script
I wrote for my own demise
With a timeless frequency
Waves of nothingness are so vibrant
Like seeds of lost and the broken
Planted deep when I was infant

Whispering a Secret

A black sky ascends, promising judgment
For an endless realm of squander and pain
Reeking a soul for a soul, nothing less
Symbolic arrival of the dark commander

Clouds scorched through the heat
Of a jarring sun, broken and stained
Hour hand hit another usual morning
A blackhole of void deeply entrenched

Winds blaze through the rusted plains
The soil casted by the lifeless philosophies
Claws of whispering death in disdain
Our self-deception is the commander’s trophy

Are we heading towards an eternal glory
And to what cost do we bear this
Earth has been mutilated and amputated
To a point of never return , commander’s bliss

Feeding a cancerous foundation of
Misplaced wisdoms through out  the civilizations
Commander prepares his whiplash
And smiles at the thorns of our abomination

We have injected a catalogue of distorted ambitions
Falsified, Morbid and Smoldering rot
Claims of dissonance in our faithless murals
And a reality burned alive, point blank shot

Bound to absolutely nothing, scaled beyond
Horizons after horizons the earth is raped
Depleted, Tortured and tormented every hour
Destruction awaits , silently at the 9th gate

Casement of slanderous initiations
A thousand ways to save our souls burned
Glimpse of our numbness and tranquility
At the hands of the time , pages have turned

Hear the skies burst , the volcano erupt
the quake and tsunamis , the grand master’s plan
Mother nature hails the black commander’s arrival
A much needed clean up job, the grand master’s plan

With thy commander , my allegiance stand !

S.

A silent and haunting note is whispered to the ears of living reality all day long.The source of this note is unknown. This note is prevalent ever since its inception. We all hear this note at the back of our minds with time but fail to embrace it. It is clouded by the echoes and resonance of all that is a part of our daily facade.With every passing seconds , it plays a role with time itself. If we place our minds to hear and understand this note , one may realize its gone beyond the infinity of time  and there is nothing more universally mysterious than what is heard from this note.

Indeed a dark and hollow symphony playing every cosmic events proportional to the individual's position subject to space time fabric. This note holds key to most of the locked and unanswered questions of our lives.



 

Jarvis 4

We stood there witnessing an endless abyss of time that rushed through our collective subconscious , hinting a lonesome onset . Perhaps a calculative series of psychological safety measures inherited by the inordinate illusions prevalent in all our unspoken dreams. Beyond the oblivion these dreams flow without an apparent reason , without a soul and without a name. We embrace this resonance of unknown in our own subjective ways yet oblivious to the most obvious . Existence is random whose randomness is wider than a black hole that can wrap millions of suns under its dark wings.

Indeed , this world is just a fragment of ordinary perception like the above experiencing itself randomly.

Jarvis 3

A craving held between the lines of absolute wrath of the soul and a timeless serenity. It calls for the end of everything that is yet to come, but not before the inception of the time that is glaring towards infinity. Its somewhere between these lines a universe exits that holds the answer to all our collective unanswered questions.

But on a second thought , this universe is insanely hollow. An empty space with endless stretch of black space filled with nothing but a stark emptiness. Not even a sound , a breathe or a vision. Only a lost thought deep inside the synapses of the mind. Solace within a void speaking to the deaf ears evolutionary redemption. Indeed a haunting silence prevails there once attended. An unanswered death and life devoid of meaning . A beautiful abyss.


An extract from the Black Book

Statica

Heart beats to the rhythm of stalemate
Pretense of a long lost dream chaser
A paper cut descend within a perfect wait
Cognition of inert memory eraser
Inside a fiction free mind
This nothingness rewind
Serenity hits upon a shapeless stone
Engraved deep within
An unknown divine !

Mind seeks a path of sustenance
Blackout of a long lost wind chaser
Saturated towards the realms of infinity
Demarcation of thoughts eraser
Inside a fiction free heart
Oblivion transforms to art
That stone hits upon this serenity
Rendering all visions black
Ever from the start !

Jarvis II

When myths of dead ends gets busted , a strange feeling rushes through the veins. Cynical smiles comes naturally all night long , as I sit in the darkness and recollect then not so seemingly apparent misdeeds of the past. My heart has withered away along with the moving time , thoughts systematically hollowed up as the mind is kept alive for survival purposes , thoroughly utilized by the capitalists with much entrenched redundancy in every aspect of life.

I stare down into the end of the horizon , that has no promises held for anyone. A senseless life we all lead much oblivious to the inordinate abundance of whatever reality has to offer. A deeply sedated being concluded for every notion and the inculcation of false morality into a vice society has led to deprivation and scarcity of almost everything except with a touch of reality in essence.

An extract from the Black Book - Ragpicker , Oct 15 , 1984.

Comic Confessions

Ever since I was a kid , I used to read comics of all kinds. Ranging from the so called 'decent' ones to the extremely graphic ones. I was also too much into watching cartoon shows that were typically aggressive , violent or depicted war of some kind. There was always something that bothered me which I never really understood that baffled me for decades.

I always developed a natural soft corner for the antagonist. Always. .........

I always felt for the evil , the darkness , the black hat , the villain , the bad guy or whatever name that fits! Somehow I had this natural inclination towards appreciating their plots , genius schemes , global domination plans , great sense of humor , inflicting pain and suffering to the weak and see the world through an alternate perspective. I dont really understand the cause for this , perhaps ever since I was a kid , my mind was a little off the shelf more like anti mainstream. Perhaps I had a bad childhood or perhaps not. But it is evident , I am more confident in speaking alternate of everything. I sometimes feel myself a complete opposite direction vector from the right.

Coming back to the comics , I want to share some of the best lines ever spoken by these guys which I always cherish !


The Joker (Batman)















Don't talk like one of them, you're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak, like me. They need you right now. But when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper. See, their morals, their code... it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you, when the chips are down, these... these civilized people will eat each other. See, I'm not a monster, I'm just ahead of the curve.

Adrian Veidt:(Watchmen)















I'm not a comic book villain. Do you seriously think I would explain my master stroke to you if there were even the slightest possibility you could affect the outcome? I triggered it 35 minutes ago.

Kingpin & Bullseye (Daredevil)














Kingpin: How do you kill a man without fear?
Bullseye: By puttin' the fear in him.

Magneto(X-Men)














Pyro: So, they say you're the bad guy.
Magneto: Is that what they say?
Pyro: That's a dorky looking helmet. What's it for?
Magneto: This "dorky looking helmet" is the only thing that's going to protect me from the REAL bad guys.

Dr. Doom(Fantastic Four)
















"There can be no greater punishment for you than the knowledge that you are totally helpless!"


Ra's al Ghul















Ra's al Ghul: Only a cynical man would call what these people have "lives," Wayne. Crime, despair... this is not how man was supposed to live. The League of Shadows has been a check against human corruption for thousands of years. We sacked Rome, loaded trade ships with plague rats, burned London to the ground. Every time a civilization reaches the pinnacle of its decadence, we return to restore the balance.

Ra's al Ghul: If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart.

Jarvis

Creation awaits for another nocturnal onset of radiant impurity. Deformed mind seeks safety inside premonitions born out of casted feelings like the leftovers of prisoners in a war camp. Indeed a vision blurred beyond ambiguous annihilation , this imagination has placed a bet with its own damnation. Only one question resides in my mind today - Are we descending towards infinity or is it just me safely seeing the world through the eyes of the tornado.

An extract from the Black Book - Ragpicker , Oct 21 , 1773.

Inordinate

An alienation from the known , I stare into this cold silence without much hope , without a say and without a smile. A straight face towards an endless regime of pain and suffering bottled inside , like a volcano trying to erupt itself for more than a thousand years. A clueless life leading towards an abyss of oblivion without even bothering to ask what do this soul needs. Prolonged prevalence of induced emptiness of the heart and a thoughtless life has lead to such consequences.

For long I have tried to remember at least one single moment in my life , when I was truly happy. Stressed my memory back till the kindergarten. I found none. Never felt a soul close to me , never got touched by the blessings of a divine , never felt happy , nor remorse , nor sad neither appreciated the small good things around me... just a static line that flowed through the black heart. Indeed , as the night grows darker I stare into this bloody hell only to be reminded there is no hope.

An extract from the Black Book - Ragpicker , 29th March , 2011.

Intermission

I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, “Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up.” Man bursts into tears. Says, “But doctor… I am Pagliacci.” Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains. - Rorschach for Comedian, Watchmen

Nexeon

Chromium shaded doorway , solace residing

beyond the end of horizon,

Timeless crystal maze , sleep into thy abyss

Entrenched forever , is my soul undone

Mirrors of wish reflects , a symphony presiding

the tale of nomenclature ,

Deceptive embrace , weep into thy subconscious

Melting the heart, tears of mother nature

That childhood buried , lifeless deciding

A cross placed upside down,

Decadence of wilt , Unblessed guilt

Reckoning of unspoken , my very noun

Wrapped under your blackwings,

Demons of inner shadows, poisoned senses

Random generation of solitude

Tranquilized beyond life's all three tenses

Self destruction is the primary archetype

That's sustained within a silent residence

My spirit walks the maze, deeply sedated

Ashes of my failures are the echoed resonance

Rusted walls dripping a liquid embrace

Haunting wind feels the skin again

Condemned towards an infinity,

Ghost of progress , dressed in endless pain

These thoughts are held without a trial

without a judgement day

Into a barless prison , darkness descends

As it keeps falling further away

and away

Into thy abyss, black bliss , opaque vision

Cold feet , frozen hands , dusted floor

Beyond infinity and a timeless path

It keeps falling away and away . . . .

KornFlex

if ($mind != sane )

{

echo "

An androgenic feed , scope creep , misplaced ecstasy

Failed DMT trip, isolated freak

Silent prevalence , first the mother language

Next push the child's face into the rat race

Subscribed to its thoughtless case

Catalysis of the educated mind, mistyped lunacy

Booklet of conformity ,a glassless McD

Press f1 , see who comes next

Screwed up innately , Helium found in your breath

Brought up , groomed deeply to fake

Cross multiply the gears, pull the chain

Reality is their biggest fear, rest is all the same

Clueless queens , Headless prince

Hunger feeding Kings, masturbation ATM

Economic strata is carved out of this game

Xenophobic station is online , 0.0 FM

Our grassroots were shit high on grass

Evolution of cockroach compared

A burden detailed , exposed and shared

And I wonder who the fuck really cared

Goat doing a pig , dog doing a goat ,

Pig does to itself , symbolic world's choked throat

Serial killers on the run, men with black coats

Eyes fixed on to the TV, while brother dies next door

Penicillin injection to the wisdom's score

Awareness of this , bloody genital sore !

A higher note , pluck that 5th fret

Increase the tempo by a mild and see

You'll remember what I have just said

We duly mess up every child's head

With fear of God, fear of Devil , Sex Bed

with fear of results , fear of Career

A fetal feeding of cancerous norm

That Joe father , Sally soccer Mom

Illusions engraved deep , scope creep

That freak now never sleeps

Claymation of residues , animated gif

of our opaque fallacy weeps

Servers of life crashed , goodness bandwidth sucked

We have downloaded a lot of shit ,
Now this 4.0 specie needs to embrace it ";

Why cant we just admit it ! - Maynard James

}