Despite my various attempts I just constantly failed in finding the right words to do a carry forward of my past work Alter Halo. Then came my sweet blogger buddy Ashrita aka SatansDarling with a rescue with her extremely impressive Horns and Halos. Ever since I read that sequel , I have been craving to write a sequel to her work and make a perfect loopback circle to the entire story right where it all started in Alter Halo. I hope Ash will forgive me if this sequel looks a bit out of place :) .
Theres a narrow path just behind me
Promising me an empty space
An elixir to all my agony
A bed of rose where my thoughts can rest
Walking now on this promised path
our past seems to permeate
Carving conclusions from all I lack
I see your face so obdurate
The snake within me crawls in time
And learns to bite these hands of fate
Why my care for you looks a crime
Why do I wake up under a sky of hate
I'm the angel with broken wings
Without you I can never fly
What happened to our smiles in spring
Don't you see I die everytime I try
Our past has a lesson buried
For both of us to understand our whys
With your dreams you always hurried
You never stopped to see my cries
The snake within me crawls in pain
It swiftly poisons my dreams inside
The soul,the snake ,the angel are same
They all burn to be your sight
I'm just a worthless lover
I have always made mistakes
So this narrow path is my cover
I'll fade away when the day breaks
The night will remain pitch black
I shall linger by your shadows
My tears could never bring you back
My redemption is a lost arrow
For once if you look at the canvas
Its not empty but looks all red
The life we painted without answers
These roses with thorns in my bed
You will one day wake in scream
Till that day this snake will crawl
I'm the dream inside your dream
Its only me to hold you the day you fall
Our destinies moves in a circle
A circle of truth that burdens me
These dreams remain immortal
Thus I bleed till eternity
“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” - Jim Morrison
11 comments:
I was not able to pick the lines this time over. Every line was a sixer (of course there were some bouncers too :P)
I should say that the rhyme scheme adds to the charm of the poem.
It is like I read and ponder. Even after I finish reading, some segments keep lingering in my thoughts.
Very deep and intense!
Hey nan ! I'm glad you liked it. Those lines are just a result of illusions of life btw :P . I'm really surprised that this poem seems that deep and intense :D. Hey btw if you read the Alter Halo ans the horns and halo ..these lines will appeal much more :).
Thanks for your heartfelt response.
Oh my God....
This is perfect! There could not have been a better sequel to our poems :) Each line in there is a masterpiece! I did not find it out of the way at all...
My fav lines:
Why my care for you looks a crime
Why do I wake up under a sky of hate
I can feel it!
I'm the angel with broken wings
Without you I can never fly
What happened to our smiles in spring
Don't you see I die everytime I try...
The whole para is great...
For once if you look at the canvas
Its not empty but looks all red
The life we painted without answers
These roses with thorns in my bed
WOW
Heck...
Each line is my favorite! I love it love it love it!
Thanks a lot Rag, I feel fresh after working my ass off since morning!
P.S. I will be away from Blogging for a while... I have some exams lined up. But I will miss reading all these masterpieces! And I promise to read them all once I am back!
You be good :D And fly high ;)
Cheers!
Ashrita
Hey ash, I'm so glad you liked it ! All the best for your exams (no cheating) :P . Will wait till you come back. Tkc and the best ! :)
Wow!!!
great going guy!!
:)
read the 'alter Halos' n Ash's 'Horns n Halos' - loved every bit:)
this one carries stuff forward..maybe the direction is forward..i dunno could be some other direction too:)
i cannot copy every line here...all of them r apt n i could absolutely relate to it...
i love Pain:):) n thanks for those Jim lines...i liked this so - Pain is something to carry, like a radio!!
u simply rock, Rags!
consider me a hungry follower who relishes every word u type..the form, the style..just abt everything...is food for my soul!!
thanks for being:)
loved every bit of it..
it is a great pleasure to be with the free flow of poetic energy..
wishes..
@chhavi: Thanks for stopping by :)
@vinnie: I believe everyone can relate to the alter halo series someway or the other. Afterall theres no one in this world who havent felt 'pain' in their lives for once. That Jim Morrison line is one of my all time fav. its brutally honest.
Lolz ..Vinnie I just had this weird thought when I read that you consider my words to be the food for your soul. Well in that case I hope your soul doesn't suffer from digestive issues due to the 'junk food' :P
Thanks for your lovely feedback. I'll never forger that . Thanks again :)
@ MIP : Thanks for kind feedback. I'm glad that you liked it. I always try to retain my best to keep the flow of the poems to be easy.
Lovely post. No end to the depth's of your poetry actually! I'm amature. Anyway, please keep writing. Your poems speak a lot about your thoughts. Correction, your poems are your thoughts. This is fantastic work. Do keep writng. Though i'm intrigued about something else too, but don't want to spill it out on such a public forum. Do keep writing! your work is a pleasure to read :)
I'm the angel with broken wings
Without you I can never fly
What happened to our smiles in spring
Don't you see I die everytime I try
Our past has a lesson buried
For both of us to understand our whys
With your dreams you always hurried
You never stopped to see my cries
The snake within me crawls in pain
It swiftly poisons my dreams inside
The soul,the snake ,the angel are same
They all burn to be your sight
This is just for me!! i felt it myself !! and the lines just made alive that pain and longingness !!
@sonya : Thanks for stopping by here for the first time. Welcome to the backyard ! Firstly I have went through your work before and you dont seem to be amateur. I like your work very much. And as far as the depths of my poems are concerned I guess they are an abyss of emptiness and nothing else(in short pure urban trash :) ). May be you are correct my poems are my thoughts. I cant possibly rule out this thing.
I'm however curious about what has intrigued you that you dont wish to say publicly considering the fact we are speaking here for the first time. Anyways I'm looking forward to hear your thoughts . Heres my email : fallcraft-at- gmail.com . Thanks for your heartfelt response and wonderful feedback. Glad to have you here !!!
@Prats : There goes our dear Prats with her smilecraft :) . I am kinda in a fixed state as I'm glad that you can so much relate to those lines of my poem and but somewhat downstruck by the fact that those lines are about sufferings and as such I feel like I reopen the healed and dried wounds of people :P
Thanks for sharing your thoughts dear ! :)
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