2000

A vessel to the craft of inept
Breed me a change, bake me a chain
Flock with the illusion monger
Carnival of the hideous splits longer

An untamed notion sits quietly in the corner
Without a sow and grim reaper
Shrouded and convulsed
Am I this archetype chained pretender

Eradicate whats left of this abyss
Swim into the circle of fire again
Each step is a blackhole on its own
Beyond the hopeless spoils and the fame

A steep climb to the endless realms
Of addiction to this hollowed scripture
That slight push to mild the Midas touch
That one idea, how badly it paints the whole picture

Breed me this change, shake me to the core
Nothing makes sense anymore
A vision that makes the skies carmine
Skyscrapers stretched to the end of the horizon

Roads filled with meteor shower
Clouds touching the highest of his towers
No longer a fiction but its the child's dream
A world crafted once that none dared to think

Resolved and perfected over the years
And all the old weaknesses have begun to shrink
New world order, enigma of one soul
This child who saw the picture as a whole

A testament to his greatest creation
For centuries to come and to the end of all scrolls
Equilibrium of power entrenched
Science and psychedelia propounded
Realizations of the most unthinkable brilliance
Embrace this future,a present perfect tense.

Lestat

Sometimes my reflection appears vague,

Falling upon scabs of those endless remains

It picks up rags of those withered unattended

And gaze upon the past, that once made sense

Surrendered to the everyday that comes

Without a thought and without a reason

Like the nail that pierces inches deep

A soul, burned by the heat of a million suns

I touch the cold and ugly stalemate

An emptied mind with nothing much to lose

A body that decayed under a misplaced fate
A heart that died long before it could choose

Sometimes my reflection appears vague,
Cries through a haunted nemesis inside
What does it behold in the eye of the beholder
Or is it just me, the fallen canvas on the other side
Betrayed by the every night that comes
A distant glimpse where my darkness thrive
I am a vampire that sleeps through the thirst
With no remorse I can drink you alive
Ageless and Emptiness are my hands of clock
In this timeless realm, my curse resides
And a lifeless life that I slowly perish
Your blood is what keeps me alive

Caseless

Sometimes my eyes open up in the middle of an dark abstract. Its still and motionless within the mind. After all there is nothing much to feel good. And how can it be ? A lifetime of failures keeps resonating all day long and every time I blend with the crowd, I'm just a lost face in the millions. Who cares ? No one.

Most of the time, my self-esteem remains in an all time low. There is a natural tendency to sit in the last corners of any room, restaurant,metro trains or any public places.  I feel a comfort in being anonymous and not seen. I hate any light that falls on my face. I prefer to stay in the dark. Since when ? 8.

I open up to no one. I have no one with whom I can share anything thats there in my mind or feel in my heart. Thats how it has been since the last decade ever since I moved out of school. Its an abyss that I crave to swim everyday with a false impression I put up with the reality around me. Why so ? Doesn't matter. 

So, all I have is this Backyard, where I can speak of whatever there is. I have no dreams , no hope and no life. And this acts a source of my dark creativity.  This pure sense of disconnect with the entire world is what keeps me alive.  A emptied and chalked out mind, with a heart that pumps blood only to serve its biological purpose has created a distinct realm of nothingness driven life. Am I nihilist ? May be.