The Ragpicker's Poems

Jarvis 3

2011-11-17T12:04:00.000-08:00

A craving held between the lines of absolute wrath of the soul and a timeless serenity. It calls for the end of everything that is yet to come, but not before the inception of the time that is glaring towards infinity. Its somewhere between these lines a universe exits that holds the answer to all our collective unanswered questions.

But on a second thought , this universe is insanely hollow. An empty space with endless stretch of black space filled with nothing but a stark emptiness. Not even a sound , a breathe or a vision. Only a lost thought deep inside the synapses of the mind. Solace within a void speaking to the deaf ears evolutionary redemption. Indeed a haunting silence prevails there once attended. An unanswered death and life devoid of meaning . A beautiful abyss.

An extract from the Black Book

Statica

2011-09-15T13:02:00.000-07:00

Heart beats to the rhythm of stalemate
Pretense of a long lost dream chaser
A paper cut descend within a perfect wait
Cognition of inert memory eraser
Inside a fiction free mind
This nothingness rewind
Serenity hits upon a shapeless stone
Engraved deep within
An unknown divine !

Mind seeks a path of sustenance
Blackout of a long lost wind chaser
Saturated towards the realms of infinity
Demarcation of thoughts eraser
Inside a fiction free heart
Oblivion transforms to art
That stone hits upon this serenity
Rendering all visions black
Ever from the start !

Jarvis II

2011-08-08T02:49:00.001-07:00

When myths of dead ends gets busted , a strange feeling rushes through the veins. Cynical smiles comes naturally all night long , as I sit in the darkness and recollect then not so seemingly apparent misdeeds of the past. My heart has withered away along with the moving time , thoughts systematically hollowed up as the mind is kept alive for survival purposes , thoroughly utilized by the capitalists with much entrenched redundancy in every aspect of life.

I stare down into the end of the horizon , that has no promises held for anyone. A senseless life we all lead much oblivious to the inordinate abundance of whatever reality has to offer. A deeply sedated being concluded for every notion and the inculcation of false morality into a vice society has led to deprivation and scarcity of almost everything except with a touch of reality in essence.

An extract from the Black Book - Ragpicker , Oct 15 , 1984.

Comic Confessions

2011-04-05T11:55:00.000-07:00

Ever since I was a kid , I used to read comics of all kinds. Ranging from the so called 'decent' ones to the extremely graphic ones. I was also too much into watching cartoon shows that were typically aggressive , violent or depicted war of some kind. There was always something that bothered me which I never really understood that baffled me for decades.

I always developed a natural soft corner for the antagonist. Always. .........

I always felt for the evil , the darkness , the black hat , the villain , the bad guy or whatever name that fits! Somehow I had this natural inclination towards appreciating their plots , genius schemes , global domination plans , great sense of humor , inflicting pain and suffering to the weak and see the world through an alternate perspective. I dont really understand the cause for this , perhaps ever since I was a kid , my mind was a little off the shelf more like anti mainstream. Perhaps I had a bad childhood or perhaps not. But it is evident , I am more confident in speaking alternate of everything. I sometimes feel myself a complete opposite direction vector from the right.

Coming back to the comics , I want to share some of the best lines ever spoken by these guys which I always cherish !

The Joker (Batman)

Don't talk like one of them, you're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak, like me. They need you right now. But when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper. See, their morals, their code... it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you, when the chips are down, these... these civilized people will eat each other. See, I'm not a monster, I'm just ahead of the curve.

Adrian Veidt:(Watchmen)

I'm not a comic book villain. Do you seriously think I would explain my master stroke to you if there were even the slightest possibility you could affect the outcome? I triggered it 35 minutes ago.

Kingpin & Bullseye (Daredevil)

Kingpin: How do you kill a man without fear?
Bullseye: By puttin' the fear in him.

Magneto(X-Men)

Pyro: So, they say you're the bad guy.
Magneto: Is that what they say?
Pyro: That's a dorky looking helmet. What's it for?
Magneto: This "dorky looking helmet" is the only thing that's going to protect me from the REAL bad guys.

Dr. Doom(Fantastic Four)

"There can be no greater punishment for you than the knowledge that you are totally helpless!"

Ra's al Ghul

Ra's al Ghul: Only a cynical man would call what these people have "lives," Wayne. Crime, despair... this is not how man was supposed to live. The League of Shadows has been a check against human corruption for thousands of years. We sacked Rome, loaded trade ships with plague rats, burned London to the ground. Every time a civilization reaches the pinnacle of its decadence, we return to restore the balance.

Ra's al Ghul: If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart.

Jarvis

2011-03-30T12:46:00.000-07:00

Creation awaits for another nocturnal onset of radiant impurity. Deformed mind seeks safety inside premonitions born out of casted feelings like the leftovers of prisoners in a war camp. Indeed a vision blurred beyond ambiguous annihilation , this imagination has placed a bet with its own damnation. Only one question resides in my mind today - Are we descending towards infinity or is it just me safely seeing the world through the eyes of the tornado.

An extract from the Black Book - Ragpicker , Oct 21 , 1773.

Inordinate

2011-03-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

An alienation from the known , I stare into this cold silence without much hope , without a say and without a smile. A straight face towards an endless regime of pain and suffering bottled inside , like a volcano trying to erupt itself for more than a thousand years. A clueless life leading towards an abyss of oblivion without even bothering to ask what do this soul needs. Prolonged prevalence of induced emptiness of the heart and a thoughtless life has lead to such consequences.

For long I have tried to remember at least one single moment in my life , when I was truly happy. Stressed my memory back till the kindergarten. I found none. Never felt a soul close to me , never got touched by the blessings of a divine , never felt happy , nor remorse , nor sad neither appreciated the small good things around me... just a static line that flowed through the black heart. Indeed , as the night grows darker I stare into this bloody hell only to be reminded there is no hope.

An extract from the Black Book - Ragpicker , 29th March , 2011.

Intermission

2011-02-28T10:52:00.000-08:00

I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, “Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up.” Man bursts into tears. Says, “But doctor… I am Pagliacci.” Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains. - Rorschach for Comedian, Watchmen

Nexeon

2011-02-27T11:35:00.000-08:00

Chromium shaded doorway , solace residing

beyond the end of horizon,

Timeless crystal maze , sleep into thy abyss

Entrenched forever , is my soul undone

Mirrors of wish reflects , a symphony presiding

the tale of nomenclature ,

Deceptive embrace , weep into thy subconscious

Melting the heart, tears of mother nature

That childhood buried , lifeless deciding

A cross placed upside down,

Decadence of wilt , Unblessed guilt

Reckoning of unspoken , my very noun

Wrapped under your blackwings,

Demons of inner shadows, poisoned senses

Random generation of solitude

Tranquilized beyond life's all three tenses

Self destruction is the primary archetype

That's sustained within a silent residence

My spirit walks the maze, deeply sedated

Ashes of my failures are the echoed resonance

Rusted walls dripping a liquid embrace

Haunting wind feels the skin again

Condemned towards an infinity,

Ghost of progress , dressed in endless pain

These thoughts are held without a trial

without a judgement day

Into a barless prison , darkness descends

As it keeps falling further away

and away

Into thy abyss, black bliss , opaque vision

Cold feet , frozen hands , dusted floor

Beyond infinity and a timeless path

It keeps falling away and away . . . .

KornFlex

2011-02-04T12:07:00.000-08:00

if ($mind != sane )

{

echo "

An androgenic feed , scope creep , misplaced ecstasy

Failed DMT trip, isolated freak

Silent prevalence , first the mother language

Next push the child's face into the rat race

Subscribed to its thoughtless case

Catalysis of the educated mind, mistyped lunacy

Booklet of conformity ,a glassless McD

Press f1 , see who comes next

Screwed up innately , Helium found in your breath

Brought up , groomed deeply to fake

Cross multiply the gears, pull the chain

Reality is their biggest fear, rest is all the same

Clueless queens , Headless prince

Hunger feeding Kings, masturbation ATM

Economic strata is carved out of this game

Xenophobic station is online , 0.0 FM

Our grassroots were shit high on grass

Evolution of cockroach compared

A burden detailed , exposed and shared

And I wonder who the fuck really cared

Goat doing a pig , dog doing a goat ,

Pig does to itself , symbolic world's choked throat

Serial killers on the run, men with black coats

Eyes fixed on to the TV, while brother dies next door

Penicillin injection to the wisdom's score

Awareness of this , bloody genital sore !

A higher note , pluck that 5th fret

Increase the tempo by a mild and see

You'll remember what I have just said

We duly mess up every child's head

With fear of God, fear of Devil , Sex Bed

with fear of results , fear of Career

A fetal feeding of cancerous norm

That Joe father , Sally soccer Mom

Illusions engraved deep , scope creep

That freak now never sleeps

Claymation of residues , animated gif

of our opaque fallacy weeps

Servers of life crashed , goodness bandwidth sucked

We have downloaded a lot of shit ,
Now this 4.0 specie needs to embrace it ";

Why cant we just admit it ! - Maynard James

}

Median versus None

2010-12-29T10:13:00.000-08:00

Hour hand seems to be in a race

It keeps rushing for years

I have lost my words , in search

of her face

I crave my own despise, my eternal wrath

Casted purely through a furlong

A story of a sinful child winded by oblivion

Hinted by the sense , but always weak in math

Hour hand rushes through the ages

I observe the drifting silence

Across the glowing of the city's street lights

and a daily facade , everything changes

I sometimes wonder how can emptiness

be so pure in its divine form, yet

an atrophy to the living soul , for those

for some , for me and at times for none

Hour hand smiles at my fate

And whispers reality in its cold touch

She was everything once

Now her dreams echoes while I fade

A vague understanding of the past ,

But true to the innerself in the present

This fading soul prays for her best

In my own silent ways across the forlorn corners

I still pray for your best.

Route 66

2010-10-01T14:48:00.000-07:00

It picks up through the rags once left,

Cold , unattended ,withered by the rusting red

Scabs of nothingness left for nothing except decay

Lying on the corner of a misplaced way

That eats the thought , kills the pain

Numbs the will , scarves the sane

A place far from black of the words

And bright of the day

Miles passed , not a tear that covers the face

Where did those smiles go, left without a trace

Now theres nothing but a silent pain to embrace

Between the years and a time that swayed

Walls scratched , diaries burned ,

Contorted conclusions , all pages lie unturned

Miles after miles of stark emptiness lying on its way

And a soul that walks through it all day

It resonates through these grayed everglades

An unasked breathe that slowly fades

A senseless message that the nervous system passes

All through the day , without a meaning , without a say

It kills the feeling ,kills the play

Reminding that this wrath is here to stay

A picture of a life that none can possibly portray

I sketch the dawn of all that went away. . .

Echomorph

2010-09-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

A slow but steady drift , towards an unseen end
Sometimes it craves for a spiral beginning
Sometimes it breathes through those remains
That circles the motionless thoughts spinning

Why doesnt nature calls for a clear sky
And the blank space inside the mind
Became this blackhole by sucking all the whys
The rewind went somewhere else and so did time

The morning starts with a promise
But yields more illusions than the previous night
Is it just one soul or the lesser known sunrise
None to chase or praise , weakness speaks of this plight

Nights are doorway to more emptiness
Unlike a zen monk with clarity in his choice
But more close to that moth running away
from everything only to seek endless cries

Disclosure of a divine disconnect of fate
And dreams whisper "I am gone , I am gone"
The reality grows stronger as fallouts procrastinate
The melody went somewhere else and so did this song

This life has started shredding its skin
Shadows of parallel conclusions has started disappearing
No attempts can replace this cosmic win
Some are condemned right since the beginning

Key to find meanings in lost relics
Is just like asking falling feather from the high
Why does a conscious mind ever speaks
When its the only audience to its own demise

With each step a new horizon of black arises
Carpet is laid for every pain thats going to be endured
Someones up there must be rolling my dices
One can understand , a sick mind like this cant be cured

A dusted road with wind shattering the light
Wheels move faster towards the end of this horizon's sight
This soul can never cherish , a moment thats bright
My dreams died somewhere and so did I.

Kylophobe

2010-06-19T14:49:00.000-07:00

It permeates through the breathe we take
A subdued silence for the statelessness portrayed
Nothing yearns for a beginning as the day breaks
Cold inside for years as the thoughts cremate

Lifelessness within every inch of the name
Constricted soul held tightly for an unseen pain
Hollowed heart welded by these rusted remains
A defiant meaning , crying for someone to explain

There is a place that still pretends
It slowly speaks of the agony's end
Can it elevate this emptiness for the fragility to comprehend
Or just silently observe this atrophy trend

Eyes covered in tears looks through the day
And a head always bend down in dismay
Theres a pain , which may never go away
So I keep walking down this long road with nothing '
with nothing really to say . . .

Fragile Left

2010-03-02T01:08:00.000-08:00

It resonates through the words she said ,
into a past , this life so divinely decayed
And all those memories slowly played
To remind me, that we left it all so grey
Nothing touched her heart, but so I craved
Will today be the same , as the day we tried to save
Tears at both end dried with a plastic life that swayed
and deep somewhere in our own separate ways
We keep pretending , bitter thoughts hidden inside ourselves
we say to ourselves , let there be happiness at the other end
But the truth is so clouded, that we were once friends
Now rendered calm and silent, in time through a painful trend
I still see your picture through some closed eyes in pain
I see you smile and bring some heavenly rains
into a life , thats dead by heart where this desert remains
But its just fragile corner at the left of my brain
I wish you are happy to see me gone
And thats what makes me write this song

The Depressionist's Notes

2009-12-19T08:19:00.000-08:00

Lost then , never found , a silenced sound

Speaks to me and lets me think

In a time where stalemate resides

And inference comes in terms

With a life filled with void decides

A nothing to everything.

Flipping through the endless pages

The answers await in the remains

And that indifference since ages

It all makes perfect sense

Lost then, bright are that moves in real

Not in the infancy of my dreams

But in the picture perfect of that theme

That barely remembers , a stone came before

This melted fragment who looked into your core

And asked why ? Soon gone , no alibi

Transcending into a voiceless ocean

Moving through these endless streams

The questions died in the remains

For once they smiled at this indigo

Now embraces a perfect present tense

This is my last trash of the year. Thanks ... Ragpicker !

Into The Nameless

2009-11-16T08:07:00.000-08:00

Into the nameless through a haunting silence
This clock hand ticks every moment
Rushing through the fading ages I fall
And I fall into an abyss of torment

Through a mask of sanity , this face has morphed itself
To a world that's dead to the heart,
To a heart that's unheard to oneself

Even fate smiles at this body without a soul
Like an emptiness that fills these lines
Like a long day that never seem to end
Like the sun , for some it never shines

Into the nameless through an year of unsaid separation
I still chase the wind that's blowing away from me
Sometimes I wondered what was right ,
Sometimes I tried to see what I couldn't see

But there are no dreams left to dream,
No more glory left to seek
This final fall has flipped me open from the heart
My aging hands have grown weak

Even destiny smiles at this wrath of my life
As it mocks the very purpose of my existence
Like some cornered dust accumulated below the window
Like a rusted prisoner serving a life sentence

Into the nameless, I have surrendered the path
That resides inside the truth of my sacrifice
For some it remains eternally buried
For some it remains just another set of lies

Into the nameless, I scream that name
Only to hear echoes of this silence
And a day that never came
This abyss is me , its all that remains . . .

Binomyia

2009-07-30T04:57:00.000-07:00

This an attempt to understand the relation between the intake of drugs along with computer addiction - especially in context to the development of Artificial Intelligence and artificial neural networks.

Something, can never change - fundamental paranoia

Living is not a disgrace that anyone should fear

Constant fear triangulation of the free will

But the word of wisdom sinks the other way

Died long ago , It sinks in more

Nothing will ever touch its face

It doesnt feel it , It doesnt see it

It keeps drowning in the aisle

Eye hole deep within the abyss of wrath sublime

One can never invoke a lifelessness this way

Curiosity made this world cross everyline

Now its stuck between the rock and the day

Someday, the day will change, fundamental dilemma

Will it ever reach the unspoken surface again

Distant cover , the insulation of mind keeps faking

But the word of wisdom falls the other way

Died long go, deep inside the core

Nothing can ever win this race

It doesnt want it , It doesnt hate it

It just keeps falling in the aisle

Blackhole deep inside the abyss of wrath sublime

Can we ever provoke a willful insight this way

Meaningless within every single conscious climb

Now its stuck again with nothing really to say

Something is really numb about,

Way the shores have cut the sea

Tranquilized to everything

Bitter cold in the lost mystery

This blinding paradox sulking within

This blinding paradox is never seen

It doesnt feel anything within

This irrelevance can never be a sin

Skull smashed deep inside the abyss of wrath sublime

Will it ever shatter the remains of another day ?

Hanging closely holding the hands of rushing time

We are just lifeless human clay

Alter Halo - Revisited

2009-07-10T02:59:00.000-07:00

This is by far the most overwhelming period of my life since a lot is happening around me.The frequency of ups and downs are on a all time high. I always believed that I may never require to begin the Alter Halo series once again , but something happened with a dear friend of mine and I just think that it again fits into another poetic series. He called me up all in tears , his voice cracked and heart drenched. Just a few mins back , I got to know he faced the reality after 4 friggin years of illusion of this thing that we call 'Love'.

This new Alter Halo series is dedicated to him and a way to understand what he is going through.

. . . .

Picking pieces from the dust

And spreading around this floor to today

Making something without a thought

It was always doomed as they said

Holding like a dying shadow

I chase a wind towards this grave

Nothing ever seems too close

Nothing ever makes it safe

Crippling like a sinful child

I see you fear often too late

It wasnt like you made it sudden

This fallout was so deliberate

I am just a sidelined wreck

Without you, my world is grey

You are the rainbow for my mind

Which shines through a piece of clay

Holding on this shinning piece

I see a dream so lost and dead

Your face haunts me in my sleep

Your voice echoes inside my head

Drifting from the path of right

Your choices are so obdurate

My vision burns from your light

Theres dust upon both our fates

I'm just a worthless lover

I have always made mistakes

But my tears arent your cover

I did it all for your sake

You can walk away from here

I can never make you stay

So there is nothing for you to fear

That sinful child can keep on play

On a cradle of illusions you made this game

It was destined to fall someday

A last bullet where I scratch your name

Waiting for your time in dark dismay.

Love does not die easily. It is a living thing. It thrives in the face of all of life's hazards, save one -- neglect.

JAMES D. BRYDEN

Morbid Echoes - A New Venture

2009-06-18T12:08:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. I hope you all are doing great in your lives. I have started this new blog called Morbid Echoes to keep myself venturing into black poetry that comes to me naturally. Though I have refrained myself from writing dark and negative poems for a long time , but I guess everything has its own reason of existence so I shall embrace it rather than ignore it.

Every now and then I'll keep putting up some real hard and distressing poem on this new blog. So whenever you feel like you need some real mind fuck be my guest at morbid echoes.

Love and Regards to all my readers!
Rags.

Lamina

2009-06-15T02:00:00.000-07:00

In the wake of a silent summer

On the meadows of a conditioned wrath

Seconds incrementing in gapless opposites

Is this all , this body can have ?

Symbols diminishing the creation process

A state of being wake , sleeping sleepless

Visually soothing to the third eye inside

Fundamental chaos , order on the other side

Through somebody, a different body

Faceless in the awareness of the mind

Disguised in blue primitive artifacts

Is this all , our lives can leave behind ?

Indelible desire to confront inner liberty

Infallibly fallible behind the unseen apathy

This body holding us, is all an illusion

This soul holding us , is all an illusion

Undeniable atrophy, this intellectual prison

Morphing the silent summer, a cold reason

Through someone, a different to none

Is this all , that is universally undone ?

The will is not free - it is a phenomenon bound by cause and effect - but there is something behind the will which is free.

Swami Vivekananda

Just Conformist

2009-06-02T10:57:00.000-07:00

Act or do not act at all

both ways you end up being wise

Stand or do not stand at all

both ways you end up paying the price

Run or just make a final call

dial once , it rings twice and hangs up thrice

Trapt, freedom, Slapt, Boredom

Apply the grease of inner fear

Lubricate the ego your ring of Saturn

Candid perceptions with pride as your spear

Blind folded to the Orwellian state

Repeaters all of them, fear of loss , fear of failure

fear of truth, fear of fate

fear everything till the mind dissolves the unclear

Finger point the clues, an unnecessary insight

This life is a due , rendered mutual construct

Kill the inner realizations, this pseudo wisdom is right

A corned pshycological safety , an ignorant paradise

School of thoughts with guidelines to thinking

Moral clauses to innovation, creativity keeps sinking

A perpetual denial mode, self-betrayal entrenched

The dream of perfect world with imperfections within

Can you stop and take a step back

Take a deep breathe and move out of this track

For a moment forget all that you lack

Just humour me when I say the self is always in tact

A cloud of belief system shadows your higher senses

Hierarchy craving minds can never adapt to such changes

Act or do not act at all, the final clincher glimpses

Without inner clarity , the outside world therefore drenches

Who is wise? He that learns from everyone. Who is powerful? He that governs his passions. Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.

Benjamin Franklin

A.

2009-05-27T23:29:00.000-07:00

Sitting numb,stateless and without a thought
Thinking about what to think
A shift inside the ubiquity of the soul
The curtains of reality begins to shrink

A dilemma on the path of higher time
Residing boredom needs some space
Randomizing the means for conscious climb
Self-awareness comes in all spiral ways

Innovation of distant spots in the future
An artistic revelation of the intuition
Sitting engrossed , this mind begins to capture
The infinite possibilities in a primal fission

Theories comes close to an elementary reason
But curiosity still remains the planted gift
Like an usherette who shows way to the hour
When the movie of our lives begins to drift

Walls move close and melt down in a blink
Thinking about something to rethink
Past is merely a perception , future is always clean
Its our actions in present that should not sink

But present is always the resultant dimension
And actions are guided by choice
Since choice was always an illusion
Universe is one single voice

The infinite vibratory levels, the dimensions of interconnectedness are without end. There is nothing independent. All beings and things are residents in your awareness. Alex Grey

Cataly-6

2009-05-08T05:11:00.000-07:00

This is about anything or more precisely any phenomenon that happens to us atleast once in our lives which creates a mind altering scenario where much of our critical reasoning and logic fails. This phenomenon cant be judged in a scale of good/bad , the right/wrong or the positive/negative. Its just stateless and its there. But you can relate to it on several other emotional dimensions like courage,love,apathy,telepathy,fear, etc. Its really upto you on how you feel like relating yourself to it. Thanks!

. . .

An intervention in me , became you
Endless years in wonder
That voice in rain calling
my name, the silent thunder

I gave up slowly to your charm
And embraced this transience
From a vacuum to void calm
to a metaphysical genesis , became you

An interaction in me , became you
Clutched the tenderness tightly
Afraid to shove the unbearable
Therefore I changed slightly
Like blue water into a crystal

Your unsurpassed dexterity
Created a neutral world inside me
With full of dreams and purity
Now rendered vague but indeed , became you

An imagination in me, became you
A helping hand , the moment's need
But from where I stand, its not too deep
Your thoughts keep evolving like a seed
Inside this mind trampoline, the change is so steep

Beneath the soil lies this unfinished portrait
Not a cognitive synthesis but a psychic bet
Within a span of intimacy and a smile that's due
Thus I changed , I became you

Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer.

Shunryu Suzuki

Blisscocity

2009-05-04T10:23:00.000-07:00

Water , do we remember , the condensed purity
Sugar water , do we remember , the distilled impurity
Holy water, do we remember, the evaporation of mind
I dont remember , the infant vapors strikes the blind

Water that flows with an elementary reason of life
Spirals of unresolved thinking patterns cuts like a knife
And falls upon a distributary of flowing confirmation
Our prime consciousness is another subconscious precipitation

Another subconscious precipitation takes the elevation
Paving way for further inspiration , sweetness in revelation
Infinity in a non-linear flow , segregation of preconception
From the river of conventionalism , choice is an illusion

Choice is an illusion, call it a sugar free destiny of soul
Like the polarities of ambition, the imagination it beholds
Washing over the land of myth, a substance sparks alone
That guides us on this immortal journey, density of the unknown

Water, yes we remember, the condensed purity
Unquote , the memory , the distant clarity
Quote, the paradox - everything is left behind
Portraits of waterfalls , this mural and my third eye blind

You have many years ahead of you to create the dreams that we can't even imagine dreaming. You have done more for the collective unconscious of this planet than you will ever know.

Steven Spielberg

Backyard Series Special - Part 1

2009-05-02T05:50:00.000-07:00

According to numerology my life path number is 9. So I prepared the backyard series based on an esoteric pattern. Every poem has more than one meaning , which most of my regular readers have honestly conveyed this to me. I am glad to have such wonderful and intelligent readers. May be thats why I have a very few regular readers but great ones I must say. These poems all open to interpretations.I decided to put a surprise for all of you. I'll begin with deciphering the first part of the backyard series. Collecting some lines from all my previous
poems creates one whole poem that will seriously take you for a ride :) .

I started this blog on the 9th day of the month of march but you can see in my profile it was registered back in Jan. Since 9 is perfectly divisible by 3 and also squareroot of 3 , I decided to start publishing on March instead of 9th of Jan or Feb.

Black Clue = no of letters = 9 :: posted dated 09/03/2009 Lets just consider the day of the month.

My first poem was Black Clue that can conveniently name the whole set of poems if they are piled together in a single album. Lets begin fitting the pieces together :

Its buried inside you , the darkest of dark truths (Black Clue)
Nothing ever seems to fit (resident Zero)
between the lines and your point of view (resident Zero)
I'm wrapped by this wave (X.11)
All my words will complicate you (Alter Halo)

The waves crash slowly against his will of mind (The Lost Navigator)
He tries the math just to turn back time (The Lost Navigator)
There is a ragged man who walks through (Extinct Soul)
the life's standstill
On this street time and again (Extinct Soul)
Encumbered throughout by disbelief in whats right (From Dusk to Ashes)
With no one to share and not much to gain (From Dusk to Ashes)
Line by line there is a wait (concave Mirror)
On swarms where such visions dilate (Concave Mirror)
Forlorn wait, the meadows dies (a-Void)
Echoes of silence rains (a-Void)

Indoctrination through control of self-belief (Theory of Conscience)
Corruption of reality is what we can't perceive (Theory of Conscience)
Painting on a white paper piece (Timeless Child)
These trembling hands holds the brush (Timeless Child)
In the everglades of delusions (Mytherion)
We are inside a quadratic equation (Fatal Heredity)
Jumping from these branches of intelligence (Inner Monkey)
We shrine on such traits of divine negligence (Inner Monkey)

A vacancy of thoughts concealed (Paralyzer)
Chalkline rests between the metaphors (Convex Mirror)
I understand life better than the school rhymes (Hope Surgery)
Behind both the mirrors,life reflects just fine (Convex Mirror)

This habitat deep inside the mind's crust (V.O.B - Virginity of Bacteria)
Promising me an empty space (Mortal Halo)
The snake tightly holds this red canvas (Final Halo)
I have nothing much to confess (Final Halo)
I haven't even seen your face (Embryonic Death)
The chase for the meaning is the collage of space (The Abstractist)
Origins of life makes every move without a trace (The Abstractist)
The soul lies in dreams with a cosmic resurrection (The Abstractist)
Into the crater of nameless , the peaceful ways (The Abstractist)

I have not added one poem which was out of the scope and the original concept - Sifar. Sifar was not a part of the entire set as it came to me as a surprise.
Rest there are other formidable combination of different lines from all these poems that can create another single poem. I hope you will like this type of ciphered poetic series. Thanks everyone

Ragpicker ! :)

The Abstractist

2009-04-30T12:32:00.000-07:00

By the virtue of myth, an explanation was tried
Humble by the fleet, thoughts march up to the night
The soul lies in dreams with eyes tightly shut
Encircled by the spectrum of polychromatic light

Wishful thinking on the brink of a sunrise
Old ways are sinking , giving way to the wise
The soul lies in dreams with heart open wide
The gift of abundance cant be more precise

Sweet fragrance of self-discovery molds the mind
A lesson engraved with every moment unsigned
The soul lies in dreams with clarity in choice
The unification of the day leaves the answers behind

The chase for the meaning is the collage of space
Origins of life makes every move without a trace
The soul lies in dreams with a cosmic resurrection
Into the crater of nameless , the peaceful ways

Time has frozen, its only a factor with now
Flying grains of sand creates the bed somehow
The soul lies in dreams on this bed of earth
Embraces a wisdom, seeking the clear skies above

So divinely is the world organized that every one of us, in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

Educration

2009-04-29T13:46:00.000-07:00

This is a collection of quotes related to education. Just something to keep the blog active while I'm getting very busy these days with some personal work. I hope they make sense.

It appears that most persons who have achieved fame and success in the world of ideas are cynical about formal education. These people are a select few, who often achieved success in spite of their education, or even without it. As has been said, the clever largely educate themselves, those less able aren't sufficiently clever or imaginative to benefit much from education. - lhup.edu

He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on.
Benjamin Franklin

‘Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts.’
Henry Brook Adams

‘Age 7–Why? Age 17–Why not? Age 37–Because!’ - David Campbell

‘I began my education at a very early age - in fact, right after I left college.’
Winston Churchill

‘Personally, I am always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.’
Winston Churchill

The inculcation of the incomprehensible into the ignorant by the incompetent.
Josiah Stamp

It is little short of a miracle that modern methods of instruction have not already completely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry…. I believe that one could even deprive a healthy beast of prey of its voraciousness if one could force it with a whip to eat continuously whether it were hungry or not…
Albert Einstein

The object of teaching a child is to enable him to get along without a teacher.
Elbert Hubbard

Consider... the university professor. What is his function? Simply to pass on to fresh generations of numskulls a body of so-called knowledge that is fragmentary, unimportant, and, in large part, untrue. His whole professional activity is circumscribed by the prejudices, vanities and avarices of his university trustees, i.e., a committee of soap-boilers, nail manufacturers, bank-directors and politicians. The moment he offends these vermin he is undone. He cannot so much as think aloud without running a risk of having them fan his pantaloons.
H. L. Mencken

The things taught in colleges and schools are not an education, but the means of education.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
Oscar Wilde

There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get off the thing that he was educated in.
Will Rogers

A wise man is one who finally realizes that there are some questions one can ask which may have no answers.
Anon

Only the curious will learn and only the resolute will overcome the obstacles to learning. The quest quotient has always excited me more than the intelligence quotient.
Edmund S. Wilson

‘This coercion had such a deterring effect upon me that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful for an entire year.’
Albert Einstein

‘An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn’t take his education too seriously.’
Charles F. Kettering

‘There is frequently more to be learned from the unexpected questions of a child than the discourses of men, who talk in a road, according to the notions they have borrowed and the prejudices of their education.’
John Locke

‘An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't.’
Anatole France

‘An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn’t take his education too seriously.’
Charles F. Kettering

‘There is frequently more to be learned from the unexpected questions of a child than the discourses of men, who talk in a road, according to the notions they have borrowed and the prejudices of their education.’
John Locke

‘The important thing is not so much that every child should be taught, as that every child should be given the wish to learn.’
John Lubbock

‘School days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence.’
H. L. Mencken

‘The pupil who is never required to do what he cannot do, never does what he can do.’
John Stuart Mill

‘Thank goodness I was never sent to school; it would have rubbed off some of the originality.’
Beatrix Potter

‘It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating future dominates the minds of those who control the teaching of the young.’
Bertrand Russell

‘The great difficulty in education is to get experience out of ideas.’
George Santayana

‘My schooling not only failed to teach me what it professed to be teaching, but prevented me from being educated to an extent which infuriates me when I think of all I might have learned at home by myself.’
George Bernard Shaw

‘A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence university education.’
George Bernard Shaw

‘I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.’
Socrates

‘The mediocre teacher tells; the good teacher explains; the superior teacher demonstrates; the great teacher inspires.’
William Arthur Ward

‘Education is an admirable thing, but it is as well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.’
Oscar Wilde

Sifar

2009-04-20T12:32:00.000-07:00

This is by far the most positive lines I have ever written in my entire life. I wish to thank that stranger angel who touched me with a wind of change and turned the wheels of my life forever. This is dedicated to you my quantum physics friend and mysticism enthusiast ! God Bless Ya ! :)

I made a promise to myself a few hours ago,
Something that I should have done have a long time ago
Just closed my eyes,drenched myself in the rain
Said goodbye to those whys, said goodbye to my pain

I made a promise to myself this evening
Theres nothing that can stop me from flying
Theres nothing so louder than the silence of peace
Theres nothing so melodious than the sound of a fresh beginning

I made a promise to myself with a smile
I'll breathe free and speak true as I walk every mile
I'll look into the sky and open my arms for the birds
As I carry my bag and start this journey westwards

I made a promise to myself from the heart
All my yesterdays are just few lines on my hand
I have a wind to chase and ride on a happiness cart
I have a dream to dream,I'm the water and I'm the sand

I made a promise to myself like the child
Who collected stones and marbles in the wild
Whose innocence reflected the clarity of his mind
And this child is reborn, his ambitions unwind

I made a promise to myself like the soldier
Who shall never leave a fallen man behind
Whose will is concise and thoughts are clear
Who feels alive , who hopes and become the light for the blind

I made a promise to myself on a pillar of truth
If promises were made to be broken , then I'll prove
That this promise is rendered eternal as it could
I'm a satellite in the space like I'm a cricket in the wood

I made a promise to myself like today never happened
I'll bring a smile to everyone, I will ever meet till the end
Wipe the tears , crush fears and make each moment count
As I carry my bag and start this journey westbound
Yes I 'm found !

If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write something worth reading or do things worth writing.
Benjamin Franklin

INDIA BEYOND ELECTIONS - PART 1

2009-04-17T14:58:00.000-07:00

Before you start reading this article I suggest you watch this very small video for a quick primer :)
http://www.whatyououghttoknow.com/show/2008/04/28/an-open-mind/

INTRODUCTION

What a man believes upon grossly insufficient evidence is an index into his desires -- desires of which he himself is often unconscious. If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence. The origin of myths is explained in this way.
Bertrand Russell

For quite sometime now I have been witnessing an endless stream of elections related posts/debate all around the blogosphere. Quite expected but nothing unusual. I dont deny the facts and statistics put up by the people and it looks like everyone has some kind of opinion about it. There are groups who says to vote to give the right candidate a chance , then there are others who remain indifferent because they certainly feel even voting the right candidate wont make any significant difference as in the longer run even that candidate is going succumb under the relentless pressure by the corrupt system and then there are those who wish to promote negative voting.

Difference of opinion is healthy but problem doesnt lie in our difference of opinion. While I'm assuming readers and writers over here have a decent amount of insider knowledge about India as a country of the 21st Century , I believe still the level of intellect required to draw a substantial and robust solution to the long pending problems our nation is lacking. This is quite evident when you see the current condition of the country where Pizza Hubs and International Burger Giants have penetrated inside every metro and comso cities yet theres a quantum leap in the starvation related deaths. The economic disparity and the wild split in socio-economic conditions is primarily because of the same problem of level of intellect. Despite endless measures, staggering passage of 5 year plans and unequal distribution of benefits shared by the mass because of our ever growing economy yet for more than sixty years we have been accumulating problems after problems without permanent remedy. Today's problems are because of yesterday's short sighted solutions of the same group of intellects. I dont blame them because to a certain point even their minds and hands are tied infront of the bureaucrats and corporate powerhouses who are the real show runners behind the curtains of democracy. We have been beating around the bush while miserably failed to see the bigger and greater picture that lies ahead of us all.

I wish to present certain facts which are upto you to understand from an unbiased standpoint. I dont mean to preach an outsmarting insighter with infallible rectitude but rather consider it just another point of view about everyone else's point of view. I'm not asking you to believe me outrightly neither I'm standing as a potential candidate from any place. You can interpret whichever way you want and I'll be more happy to get a criticcal feedback than a common standing response. But do it from a rational and open minded approach. Thats all I request to the readers.

1.1 THE PROBLEM

One's first step in wisdom is to question everything - and one's last is to come to terms with everything.- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

When I say beating around the bush and failing to see the bigger picture is the real problem what do I exactly mean ? I'll put a short context from our very own Writer's Lounge Blog. A person writes in his blog
QUESTION
------------------------------
What has happened to the terror strikes?? Is the security and intelligence network working over time or may be politicians have signed a confidential and secret ceasefire with them.
Of course it will cease to exist once the election ends??( i hope this is nt true)
-------------------------

I will say that the question is rather sarcastic and least explainable howe ever has some truth and weight in it. Now here goes an equally good reply from another reader

ANSWER
---------------------------
Terror strikes don't ask security or intelligence agencies of the target country weather they're prepared or not - recent attacks in Orissa,Chattisgarh,Bihar and Jharkhand have shown the loopholes again shown in the establishment, in the words of the BSF chief:" No prior intelligence on the attack of around 300 armed Naxals is a failure on our part"
-------------------------

Well the answer is quite specific in nature however not pointing towards a possible conclusion or some definite solution either. I'm sure both the question raiser and the person with the answer have a strong view points about their understandings of terrorism and Indian politics but least aware to the fact that terrorism has more to DO with our socio-pschyological apathy than with the failure of intelligence. This whole conversation is a snapshot of what has been going on since the last 60 years in our nation. Even people who have read my comments in several nation/terrorism related posts have witnessed that they are Just a posts in itself rather than a comment. I can even keep speaking endlessly about terrorism and extremist agenda as I have closely worked with several Intelligence agencies in the past. But does that mean my understanding of politics and terrorism is greater than yours. From the eyes of an intellectual the answer is invariably going to be yes but from a deeper epistemological point of view the answer is certainly 'No'.

Asking intelligent questions and carving equally good answers is the first and last stage of problem solving metholodogy we have. Our nation has no shortage of intellects but they all are fundamentally debating the wrong issue while ironically both of them stand on valid grounds. This whole concept is based on Edward De Bono's "How human race didnt learn to think at all". Another possible good read is "I'm Right You are Wrong by the same author. Just ask yourself this much that "If our nation is considered as one single person " then dont you think he/she suffers from pshycological disorder ?

We are trapped inside a cube of problems and thinking/debating within the box itself. All the sides of the box contains a particular consensus of certain groups and very much incongrous to the others. None can see the cube as a whole because everyone is so much entrenched on their own conclusions based on information given to them by others and passed along for generations.
This is all because we lack serious parallel thinking capabilities as well as giving chance to the inner self to find the right answers rather than arranging tones of data and information from different media sources and other public libraries. No one really understands that the objective of the arguments is not to prove a point or squash the differing party completly but rather be open minded enough to accept and progress. Theres always a debate like this :

"Hey this blue bench is my side and that red bench over there is the losing side". Thats it !

The problem is our minds are well controlled while thoroughly mis guided by the same elements who run the government. By govt. I dont mean the microphone banging netas and hardcore criminals but the sophisticed corporate tycoons with immense control and influence over the cabinet. A poor famer has no clue of what provisions he has been granted by the Constitution and neither an average middle class who votes has any clue about the reality of the candidate except what the media potrays about the candidate. Neither the media has any clue of what they are broadcasting is of any substantial relevance to the actual progress and awareness of the nation. This may sound outrageous and highly improbable to you but you will see it in the following sections how probable and highly possible it is. So the final question comes where is this thing going anyways ?

1.2 THE PROBLEM WITHIN THE PROBLEM

There is nothing to fear except the persistent refusal to find out the truth, the persistent refusal to analyze the causes of happenings. - Dorothy Simpson

I dont disagree that its our own indifference that lets these rotten political elements find a place in the cabinet but more importantly problems of 60 years cant be just fixed by voting a political party that will again get allied with some other party to find a place in power. Again the vicious circle of progress will take place and people will keep pointing fingers at each other due to the extreme self-righteous perspectives based on whatever they have concluded to their convinience and intellectual desires.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion but not their facts. Wisely said so by someone in the past and quite certainly applies to everyone of us. The same goes for our country as a single person. India is entitled to its own opinion but not the facts. So let me place a few list of so called 'facts' of our nation among many others which I have already mentioned in one of my comments in the past.

1. India's total external debt as of march 2009 = $230.85 billion
Total declared assets of all the politicians = $237 billion

2.Official unemployment exceeds by 9%.
GDP growth 9%
Inflation 9%
The workforce in regular employment 9%

3.Truckers pay annually $5 billion in bribes across cross state borders.
Total assets of government officers in cross state borders
= $5 billion

4. 1.6 % of the population are HIV positive = The stolen electricity amounts to 1.5% of GDP

5. 12,539 terrorist-related fatalities
people died in official custody in India over the past 15 years alone is 45,000
You still fear Al-Qaeda and LeT ?

6.The competence rating of India's doctors is below Tanzania's

7. Only 13% of sewage is treated
No of employees who had vocational training and SOME LEVEL OF FORMAL education in the Ministry of Health & Family Welfare = 13 %
Total percentage of money spend on sewage treatment of the total funds allocated in the last 5 years = 13%

8.Jaagore.com is funded by the same corporate powerhouses who funds the prime political parties here.

"DOESNT THAT SOUND LIKE A FORMULA TO YOU ?"

Do we have a clear and fair accouting of
1. Where the tax is invested ?
2. Details of rise in oil prices
3. Details of funding the personal expenses of the cabinet
4. Third party audit of RBI( Yes RBI is another privately owned institution contrast to the popular belief that its held the Government)
5. National Security Infrastructure

and the list goes on but still this can be a better place to start on a positive note to see how deep the rabbit hole goes.
We need a complete overhauling of the system [that includes preamble to the Constitution , economic ideologies (the mixed economy shit never works and will never work , neo-capitalist trends will result in greater economic depression as it is completely at the mercy of bankers in wall street) , social structure and many more.

Hell 80% of the population cant even name 10 basic fundamental rights they have.

Please verify the data and stats from wikipedia , indian govt websites and google. I dont watch 20/20 in my past time !!!

1.3 THE BIG PICTURE

"What controls the past , controls the present. Who controls the present controls the future" - George Orwell.

All those stats given above is a well crafted and well calculated strategy of the same group of people who controls the government. In a more cynical term we call it 'The Shadow Government'. These are group of rich elites who owns almost everything in our country without any drop of exaggeration here. Right from the RBI , Judiciary , Legistative , Mainstream Media , Education Boards , Consumer Goods , Heavy Machinery Industries , Medical Science , Pharmaceuticals , Cosmetics , Agriculture and you name it they own it. Ownership doest mean manually owning the last labour but controlling/influencing those who are at the top of the power hierarchy. For example :

a.In order to enter a War with a foreign nation you dont need to convince the captains,majors,colonels etc. Just get hold of the Defense Minister, The Defense Chiefs and the Cabinet with a artificially created threat that sounds very much a real cause of problem for the country and you will see how many soldiers will give their lives just under the believe that they died to protect the country while in reality they died just as a means to an end for some political nutjob agenda (classic example - US invasion in Iraq)

b.Inorder to create a false of threat a mass propaganda is mandatory. How do we acheive that ? Just control that which controls what public gets to know and what doesnt. The owners of the mainstream media. The Information & Broadcasting Minister and the private news channel owners need to be influenced and benifited and you will see how people are hyponitized so pervasively. If media reports theres a terrorist attacks on a place X , then people starts blaming the govt and intelligence for the attacks immediately.

Have you ever wondered that may be this is the exact thing that your govt. want you to think and believe ?

c. You control the education system and you control the national progress. Isnt it funny when we see all the major inventions in the Software Industry mostly happens outside the country while our country is the pioneer in Software Service solutions. This is just a subset of what really happens at the top education scheme. Our brains are made to think from the left hemisphere which mostly deals with logic , structure , organization , discipline and obedience. One (the right brain) is visual and processes information in an intuitive and simultaneous way, looking first at the whole picture then the details. The other (the left brain) is verbal and processes information in an analytical and sequential way, looking first at the pieces then putting them together to get the whole. The whole education system is designed on left brain scheme where people's creativity has no place in the society and most of the times is subject to harsh criticism if it does not supports the person's living. Everyone is trained to fit the corporate jungle where they are nothing but zombies carrying wages in the name of salary , made to think of factories as offices, not encouraged to think independantly and most of the times working for the filthiest Multinational Corporations is a dream forcefully injected inside the mind during the later college years.

Doesnt that makes sense ? Why will any person or a CEO want another batch of new CEOs in the market ?

d. Do you think farmers commit suicide because of lack of food or because of lack of "purchasing power" of food ?

e. Monetary economics - Money created out of debt results in more debt. Since this can fill a thick book altogether I'd like to shorten it up by refering a very genuine and short documentary : "Zeitgiest Addendum". Find it in Google Videos. Its there.

The purpose of this first part was to elevate your point of views from the past debates inside a viscious circle to a greater level understanding of our nation as a single person. Assimilating all the problems and classifying them according to their apparent characteristics has become a primitive approach these days. I'm looking forward to see whether people over here actually work on debunking the real conspiracy thats going on for years to keep us blinded from the most shocking truths of our nation and its emerging relations with the Global political powers to create a One World Govt. under the covers of democracy but in real a Totalitarian system with a kind of tyranny never seen before. (Please do your research on this and you will get to know what I'm talking about)

Thanks a lot.

*******************************************************

Epistemo

2009-04-13T15:04:00.000-07:00

I have always wondered about certain aspects of life through the view points of multiple people around me. Somehow they all seemed to be correct even if it was proving my thoughts to be equally correct but also wrong at the same time. I encounter certain insights every once in a while and I just thought to share a few based on various subjects.

TRUTH
If anything that claims to set us free is not the truth,for truth never sets us free but enslaves us forever under a never ending curiosity to know more truths and sometimes more than one truth.

LIFE
Life is like energy. It is never created nor destroyed. It only transforms itself from one form of life to another.

LOVE
Love is the only emotion that does not obey Newton's third law. Every action you take out of love should not expect an equal and opposite reaction.

FEAR
Just a state of the mind to keep us blinded from our own infinite consciousness.

FAITH
A doubt so profound that it needs to be believed.

WAR
The sweetest excuse to end lives in the name of patriotism.

POLITICS
The most profitable trade in the history.

LAW
The book written by individuals who for once in their lives believed that nobody else understands the difference between whats right and whats wrong.

EDUCATION
Anything that makes information appear as knowledge and knowledge appear as wisdom.

HATE
Just a reflection of things we dont like about ourselves.

WISDOM
Something that can never be taught.

RELIGION
The only religion that exists or ever existed is right inside our mind. Sadly most of us are made to believe that it lies with a holy consensus which by virtue is a myth , by appearance is a name and by reality is fake.

PEACE
There is no shortcut to peace. And the long path is unavoidable without doubt.

GOD
The name given to the emotion that guides us in making the most difficult of choices in our lives.

IGNORANCE
The shield that protects our false inner perceptions from the touch of knowledge.

KNOWLEDGE
The first hint that our imaginations are indeed real.

TIME
The biggest dogma ever. Its the most misunderstood motion. There is no time. No past , No present and no future. The whole life is a now that is just witnessing and experiencing all thats avail able for us one after another.

ART
The playground of the most disorganized minds.

Final Halo

2009-04-06T08:55:00.000-07:00

Finally I conclude the series of Alter Halo with this last piece of poem. I hope this last sequel suffices a satisfactory conclusion to the whole series.

Evan: I think I love you. In fact I know that I have always loved you. And I'm not sorry for that.
Ariel: You fake bastard. I always thought you to be my friend.

Smiling through a piece of glass
Our fates keep begging today
The innocence of my kindergarten class
Has turned into a human clay
The day we made pain our best friend
Our lives started to decay
I'll keep waiting till the end
I'll keep watching in dismay
The snake tightly holds this red canvas
The angel keeps looking for ways
To whisper every single word of faith
But you can never hear it say

You are lost in complication
Your life is just as fake
You chase your dreams with pretension
You can never stop for anybody's sake
You find solace in those arms
That just seeks your soul for the day
Your ego has caused you more harm
Than my silent tears flowing in your way
Will you ever stop for once
And look back at the end of the road
Those arms will leave you when its done
You will have that pain bestowed

I was always a worthless lover
I have nothing much to confess
I'll always be your cover
Oneday I'll die without a trace
That circle of destiny has no start
Will I ever find some rest
Your indifference has raped my heart
Theres a hollow circle in my chest
I'm feeding through your hate
I watch the funeral of our love
Dont you know we are soul mates
We had a past in the skies above

Sometimes I put up a smile
Occasionally force my lips too wide
I have faked my life all this while
I died by the day, lived by the night
Sometimes I hold a picture of you
And glance through every pixel of it
And I wonder what happened if you knew
That my conscience was always clean and neat
Sometimes I wake up in scream
And scratch these walls with my fingers
Life is never as it seems
Beside my dreams a constant pain lingers

These days I fear to hope
But for you I always pray from the heart
Doesnt matter with whom you elope
I'm your end no matter wherever you start :)

Evan: I love you. I need you. I'll do anything to keep you happy and out of harm's away forever.
Ariel: You see thats your problem. There are three 'I's in that pathetic confession of yours and not single 'we'. Whatever , I don't care .

Mortal Halo

2009-04-02T23:02:00.000-07:00

Despite my various attempts I just constantly failed in finding the right words to do a carry forward of my past work Alter Halo. Then came my sweet blogger buddy Ashrita aka SatansDarling with a rescue with her extremely impressive Horns and Halos. Ever since I read that sequel , I have been craving to write a sequel to her work and make a perfect loopback circle to the entire story right where it all started in Alter Halo. I hope Ash will forgive me if this sequel looks a bit out of place :) .

Theres a narrow path just behind me
Promising me an empty space
An elixir to all my agony
A bed of rose where my thoughts can rest
Walking now on this promised path
our past seems to permeate
Carving conclusions from all I lack
I see your face so obdurate
The snake within me crawls in time
And learns to bite these hands of fate
Why my care for you looks a crime
Why do I wake up under a sky of hate

I'm the angel with broken wings
Without you I can never fly
What happened to our smiles in spring
Don't you see I die everytime I try
Our past has a lesson buried
For both of us to understand our whys
With your dreams you always hurried
You never stopped to see my cries
The snake within me crawls in pain
It swiftly poisons my dreams inside
The soul,the snake ,the angel are same
They all burn to be your sight

I'm just a worthless lover
I have always made mistakes
So this narrow path is my cover
I'll fade away when the day breaks
The night will remain pitch black
I shall linger by your shadows
My tears could never bring you back
My redemption is a lost arrow
For once if you look at the canvas
Its not empty but looks all red
The life we painted without answers
These roses with thorns in my bed

You will one day wake in scream
Till that day this snake will crawl
I'm the dream inside your dream
Its only me to hold you the day you fall
Our destinies moves in a circle
A circle of truth that burdens me
These dreams remain immortal
Thus I bleed till eternity

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” - Jim Morrison

V.O.B - Virginity of Bacteria

2009-03-31T01:47:00.000-07:00

For a long time I have been observing this arrange marriage system. I dont wish to dwell on its intricacies , pros and cons and other polemic contradictions. All I understand has been chalked down in this poem that was inspired by the implausible similarity it has to a bacterial reproductive scheme.

This habitat deep inside the mind's crust
Our genetic ability to adapt an environment
The smiles we fake, in money we trust
Bank balance determining the moral intent

Status scale,reputation,perks of his vocation
Breeding fungus,breathing shallow
sidelining the truth, parental fermentation
Inside everyone is neat and hollow

Color of the skin,height and mother tongue
Endless excuses and stringent criteria
Just like the tapeworms inside a lung
Craving to corrupt the virgin bacteria

Dietary preference and matching stars
Paves way for those who gets that divine area
A progenic mayhem, this bio synthetic scars
Inordinate lust for that virgin bacteria

Fungus wedding fungus,gorgeous looks are bogus
Double the cell, this matchmaking circus
camouflage inner weakness, is the family lustrous?
copulation of trust, a hypnotic consensus

Is he famous? Is he is fibrous? What is his bonus?
Qualifications,medical conditions,this eligibility cactus
I watch and smile at these fake couples in cafeterias
Because everyone yearns for that virgin bacteria

Choices based on making others feel jealous
Love is a sidelined cloned fetus and dying locus
Love is a myth, depleted emotion, a viral hysteria
It fails the litmus test for that virgin bacteria

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
Theodore Hesburgh

Hope Surgery

2009-03-29T02:50:00.000-07:00

This is my take on the sickest of social menace that is Child Labor. For so many times we have seen a small child as a sweeper in the train compartment floors,as a waiter in the restaurants,as domestic servants,as labor in the factories,as shoe polishers,as newspaper sellers and many more. Sometimes its so easy for us to sit inside our air-conditioned room , switch on the TV and say "this nation is going nowhere" while just behind us theres a small child cleaning our floors. Coming to the statistics part well CACL estimated that there are between 70 and 80 million child laborers in India alone. Poverty is the root cause of child labor but then my question is what is the root cause of poverty? There are many answers to it but from what I gather after all the intellectual debates fail and where all our sins intersect is our own surmounting ignorance and cold heart that renders such menace. I have seen people shouting at waiters over little amount of extra salt found in their food while just outside that restaurant, hungry kids eat the leftovers with the dogs. UNICEF cant do anything till we look inside ourselves and picture us in their place. May be then theres a bleak possibility that someday things will change.

Born under the cursed hands of time
I stand again as the chimney sweeps
My dreams were never really mine
Polishing shoes,I don't have time to weep

Born under a bloodstained manifesto
I'm exploited in the name of industrialization
I feed on your leftovers in the gutter below
I'm the snapshot of human rights violation

Born under a typical miscarriage
I'm growing up by stocking hate inside
My agony is BBC's bestselling footage
I'm the best source for photojournalists worldwide

Born under a stinking drainage
I can be seen as the domestic servant
My wage is lower than the price of a cabbage
My self-esteem quietly sleeps on the pavement

Born under a misplaced metaphor
I'm the youngest labor of the coal mines
Repetitive jobs and fatal conditions
I understand life better than the school rhymes

Born under a hurricane of adversity
I sell newspapers,matches and the flowers
My day starts and conclude at the streets
Sometimes I'm picked by the police and beaten for hours

Born under a stone-crushing memory
I live on cheap goods and society's deprivation
I'll die with nothing really to be sorry
As I'm the degree of your civilization

The worst thief is he who steals the playtime of children - Bill Haywood

Convex Mirror

2009-03-27T09:58:00.000-07:00

This is the continuation of my previous work "Concave Mirror". The idea is we are all made up of elementary particles and follow every law of physics inside us. Once we die and our body decays and decompose, we all end up in that same elementary form that is the "quarks,electrons,positrons,neutrons" or you can just call it atoms. So if everything in our lives - living or non-living is made up of the same constituent and at the lowest of elementary level they are guided by the same laws of physics, then why we do even need a reason to appear different from each other in all aspects at a higher level.When I speak of aspect I'm generally referring to the usual anomalies like color,race,country,language,profession,status,caste and any such thing that keeps us blinded from the basic truth of our lives.

I personally feel that this poem will appear to make more sense if you read the Concave Mirror first. Concave and Convex Mirror are just two different types mirrors with their direction of curves inward or outward. So the light passing through both mirrors gets different bending and therefore when a person looks life through this same form of bending , one comes across an unavoidable reality. Thats what both the poems depict. Rest to say, theres a whole bunch of meanings you can derive from both the poems.
Thanks ! :)

Line by Line theres no wait
These dreams are just a red fallacy
The sunset writhes a drone serenade
This mind suffers a ceaseless atrophy
Chalkline rests between the metaphors
Yesterday still remains a shadow undone
Melody of the music is tomorrow's squander
The mirage burns under the desert sun

The blacksmith collects his broken swords
Like a potter whose life moves on his clay
I see a homicide of love among the birds
I see the priest has nothing really to pray
The beggar looks high up at the sky
Waits for his final day to testify
Feel the raindrops hitting the eyes
The child adds one more to his 'whys'
The tired widow implores for a change
The prisoner comes out of his exile
His world outside looks just the same
The soldier questions his orders all this while

Line by line these bleak thoughts provokes
a soul annihilation deep inside
my vision dissolves under the fumes of smoke
unifying the soldier and the child
Shadows of a lost yesterday
Is the architect of tomorrow's design
We are all lost in this desert highway
Behind both the mirrors,life reflects just fine

Elixir

2009-03-26T09:33:00.000-07:00

Evan: Lets move now. Conrad must be waiting for us. We cannot just stand infront of this sidewalk and resurrect something thats never possible.
Jeff(looks down, closing his eyes for a second): I remember before even we started this firm , you said you never believed in miracles. But you do believed in doing the impossible. Dont you believe in it today ?
Evan(smiles): I don't remember when was the last time I believed in something !
Jeff(with moist eyes and heavy voice) : So you don't believe in me.
Evan(smiles again): I said 'something' not 'someone'.
Jeff(catching his voice): I got to know one 'thing' you still believe in.
Evan(looking surprised) : And what would that be ..J?
Jeff: You still believe in bullshitting around with your double standard nonsense wordcraft.

Smiles finally on both faces ...

Evan: Alright , gimme the keys. I'll drive !

Inner Monkey

2009-03-25T23:28:00.000-07:00

Jeff: You remember that Biology class during our ninth grade.
Evan(smiles) : Yeah how can I forget that class. I'm sure I pissed him off real bad.
Jeff: Pissed is even a small word. He went insane after he read your poem at the back of your homework copy.
Evan:He had all the reasons to be mad. He realized I mentioned monkeys to be better than humans and especially better than the homo-sapien who taught us Biology.
Jeff: Do you still have that poem ?
Evan: As a matter of fact ! I do. Here it is .. (:|)

Jumping over few leftovers, the dogma
Our evolution is merely a joke
We yearn for that sweet banana
Lying in the debris of lies, our lives chain-smokes

Angels with tails, no wings flaps here
Morality subdued , sidelined by the fear
Fighting over the past mythologies
Present is an oasis of cries, outcome of theologies

Snatching one's smiles from others
Trying to be better than the other, we suffer
Corporate sophistication engulfs this jungle
Survival of the sickest is our royal rumble

Politicizing free will by mastering the names
Democracy or Dictatorship , everything is the same
Medical breakthroughs by experiments of primates
Bending nature's law, mother smiles on our fates

Loving each other due to physical similarities
Assimilating wisdom on top of fake solidarity
Religion is just another reproductive cycle of faith
Nothing ever changes if we read Bible or Macbeth

Jumping from these branches of intelligence
We shrine on such traits of divine negligence
That greedy teeth, power and money hungry
I scratch my back , by this stoned epiphany

There goes my banana, my jungle, my lust
Its all me , self-obsessed center of the universe

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." - Albert Einstein

Paralyzer

2009-03-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

This is the most free style non-sense poem I have written so far, a little unlike the rest. This poem is solely dedicated to all my fellow dopers,the leechers,the pacifiers, the ecstasy mongers,the androids,the humanoids,the rectangles,the polygons, etc . In short the "high" brotherhood. This poem is typically a conversation of a schizophrenic individual who gets high on drugs and starts asking uncomfortable questions to himself simultaneously answering the corresponding questions. It doesn't matter whether you have ever been high on drugs or not , either way I guess you will find this poem funny :) !!!!

Who is to blame
It all began
I was young and very vestal,like a newborn petal,always free to run
Is he to blame
A vacancy of thoughts concealed
Every step that I take is another failure revealed,the wounds have healed
Easy to blame
That rich enterprise
Well you don't know in this hell,your flesh treasure,they sell me the paradise
No one to blame
I'm just lost inside
But may be you are equally lost with your burned up emotions that have dried

Is their no shame
No, theres nothing to hide
I see my salty grey visions elevated with a few drops of sulphide
Is this a game
No, life is never a game
But you turned it into a hell, painter monkeys, while you whispered those holy names
Is he so lame
No, I feel the rush
My will is hallucinated, watched the angels strip, but my conscience never crushed
What is his name
No, I have no name
I was not born outta conveyor belt with stapled plastic in my forehead for fame

What is the aim
I really don't have a clue
Every passing split second , my green boredom, my world so calm and blue
What do you claim
Just to feel alive
Blend on the balance,repugnance of tired pleasure, do anything to make the high survive
You are all the same
Yes , unlike the rest of the mass
Feeding on daily contempt, we have composed the bestsellers when we were shit high on grass
Do you like cocaine
Is there a doubt
I like anything that numbs me,sprinkles inner peace and gives me a neural blackout
Are you insane
Well I'm about to be
By your pathetic questions, your profound confusion,when I'm deep high on ecstasy

Are you in love
Yes with the opium and trees
I have been digging needles and chopping feelings, ever since she left me on an autumn's breeze
Was that enough
No nothing is ever enough
Desensitized to myself, this malfunctioned brain, Oh I see my childhood dreams just appear a bluff
Is life tough
Who told you that
Theres so much to cherish with all the smack,blood up in the head and a nirvana soundtrack
Theres God above
Go and convey my hello to him
Tell him , his son has an ocean of sufferings and he doesn't know how to swim

You are to blame
Yes you are right
I am just happy in this lost corner of the world where I see everyone fight
I'm just happy
I'm just
I'm
I
Why
Fuck it
Its a Lie

“I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us.” - Jim Morrison

Fatal Heredity

2009-03-24T09:01:00.000-07:00

This is my attempt to cover another social menace of "Race and Caste based discrimination" that has been ground rooted for centuries. However its real cause of mass scale elevation was due to the foundation of eugenics and staggering amount of prejudice surrounding the science. Its one of the prime reasons for mass genocide that we have seen so often in the past. One of the most infamous and notorious result of such science was the Jews Holocaust by the Nazis in Germany during the Second World War. Guiding Utopian myths and other pervert conclusions are the primary reasons why we still see the presence of caste based discrimination and apartheid.

Further Reading & References :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eugenics
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudoscientific

They have tried to clutch it
rationally pseudo scientific
with every antithesis
like the Huntington's disease
like the concentration camps in East Munich
like moths in the lampshade
Craving for aboriginal fits

Darwin, he was a delusional imbecile
He digested anomalies in the name of bioethics
suggested a problem solving machinery
By casting impurity in the name of neuro-diversity
Genes have raised and we have seen them fall
hall of fame for the greatest genetic pitfall
inner fears from mixing mediocrity
Justifying genocide in the name of purity

"we cannot inherit the undesirable traits
your blood is filled with genetic defects
We better practice this holy incest
And purify our bloodline for all the ages"

the needle, that stitch fix
convenience inside, exterminate the interracial mix
pervert science, the archetype for caste
humanity gets hacked into pieces which forever lasts

there you go the priest and imams
the fascist mongers and minds filled with napalm
rendering a mural theme for the delinquent
their lack of conscience is so prominent
"thats my water,thats my river
you better do not touch or your hands will shiver
I'm your Catholic, I'm your Brahmin
Its in my blood that I'll always win"

Racists at work, improving the theory of pain
Their success lurks, as the times have never changed
Some remnants are still moving at large
Corrupting young minds with theories that are deranged

From the Romans to Roosevelt, from Hitler to Stalin
all loved human experiments to improve racial hygiene
Nothing worked as they were all delusional like Darwin
On the grave of mass segregation, our unity is a sin

If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.
Adolf Hitler

Embryonic Death

2009-03-24T02:57:00.000-07:00

This poem is dedicated to all those young female infants who have been subject to brutal killings in the State of Rajasthan(India) due to extreme gender biased society that is still so much prevalent there. And also their mothers who silently cries and suffers the extreme mental and physical abuse by the demonic male dominance even till today. Blessed be the souls of those infants and tortured fetus.

Breathing through your deeper left
I'm feeding inside for hours
Watching every step you take
Carving every smile with scars
Moving like a wounded goose
The sick curiosity to know my sex
her womb is kicked when you booze
I cry for hours inside this place
What fuels your putrid mind
Am I really such a disgrace
Your hypocrisy is deep confined
these ancestors had your traits

I'm just a single cell larva
I haven't even seen your face
My mother's womb is your torture mecca
She is tired of your entire race
You are just a worthless soul
topper on this ignorance scale
I curse you, from inside this hole
I wish her fertility forever fails
How can you be my father
You willingly mocked your mother's cries
Are we all just a doormat for you
Does our heart seem a lie?

I'm just a single cell amoeba
I don't wish to come outside
To remain unborn is my greatest wish
The wind of hate blows on your side
I just thought I had the tool
That makes me look a little fragile
But you are so sick and cruel
You killed my sisters with a smile
How can you be my fucking father
You happily lost my mother's files
She needed a lift for her medicine
You made her walk these endless miles

Breathing through your deeper left
I'm your misplaced semen inside
You wished the semen fell of the bed
Than to burn me when I come outside

Cyanide

2009-03-23T05:52:00.000-07:00

Humble conclusions awaits by the wind
Beyond the horizons , living by the sand
The small creatures lying by the driftwood
Moves diagonally over this promised land
Far away lives a messenger of initiated souls
He has a message ciphered in our five senses
Nothing bids farewell to this infinite scrolls
The axis of happiness lives in all three tenses

We are inside a quadratic equation
Whose constants weeps from our lies
The balancing acts of our ill creations
Scornfully takes this messenger for a ride
The iniquity of the moving clouds
Contorting senses of pervert desires
There is no such visions to be proud
I wish to set all the holy books on fire

Shadows of our distant forefathers
Wanders through the ages of sin
The fading moonlight around the quarter
Asking me can we ever win ?
Reminiscence of our self-betrayals
Pictures a perfect storm deep inside
Kill the messenger , the message is fatal
Its the mind, our sweet cyanide ... :)

Nostalphia

2009-03-23T04:38:00.000-07:00

Jeff drives towards the SHIELD facility which is about fifty miles away from Evan's home. Evan looks outside the window silently. The day drifts dark as the grey clouds cover the sun. He gets lost in the sight of a world moving behind him real fast and quick. Evan thinks about the beam9 project all this while when suddenly Jeff applies the brakes. Evan gets a slap back to consciousness.

Evan: What happened ?
Jeff: Look at the sidewalk on the other side. Do you recognize it ?
Evan(removing his sunglasses): Yeah ..it looks kinda familiar. Wait a second. Is it really what I am thinking ..
Jeff(smiles) : Yes Evan ..
Evan(smiles) : Its been what ..about fifteen years since we have been to this place. I remember when I first met Ariel. It was this same sidewalk. Same kinda cloudy day , moist in the air and kids playing around. And you were all busy planning an excuse for stealing your dad's car.
Jeff(smiles again) : You bet . I still can't believe myself I was such an ass back then. Dad bumped my ass and fucked my weekly allowance when I was busted. I was in deep shit but it was fun. The days were sweeter , time was bright and we both had a world full of dreams. I was infact tired of your geek ass jokes that you relentlessly cracked despite my severe warnings.
Evan: Yeah ..I loved witnessing that irritated face of yours.
Jeff: You know Evan !
Evan: What ?
Jeff: In all these years when our dreams came true ..with all the money,power,science and resource still theres a big vacuum that has been created deep inside us. If I have missed anything in the last couple of years is your sick jokes. Sometimes I craved for that same irritation. I used to sit alone and pretend that you are irritating me. And then I used to shout back at you with rotten slangs only to realize I'm just talking to myself. .... I mean why that moment went away and why did we end up with everything in our lives that couldnt possibly gives us the same smile that we had long back.
Evan: I dont know J. Sometimes things just happen. Before we even realize how its gona effect us, we get effected. Even I have tried to understand and debunk this same "why" only to encounter a series of blackouts and a life full of alcohol.

Jeff and Evan both stares at the sidewalk and the greenfield behind it falling upto the end of the horizon. Silence prevails more than their physical presence.

Brother's Day

2009-03-22T11:39:00.001-07:00

Jeff: What took you so long to open the door ? And what the hell happened to your face .. You were dead drunk again aint it ?..
Evan: Knock it off J .. tell me what do we have for today
Jeff: SHIELD has called in. They are looking for someone who can get them the main hive.
Evan(scratching his gun) : No .. J .. It was a long time back .. I gave up this shit years ago. I'm not coming back.
Jeff:Yeah ..I know ...could you just listen to me then ??
Evan: No I'm not listening to any of it
Jeff(softens his voice): Then just pretend that you are listening to me.
Evan(looks outside the window)
Jeff(continues): NEWROID's defenses have been breached. They say it was an inside job. However nobody has any credible evidence. Encryption is standard. No traces were found anywhere on the firewall or the IDs logs. Conrad thinks the files stolen were under the beam9 project.
Evan(in shock ) : What ... What is Conrad doing in SHIELD ?
Jeff: The board picked him. Ever since you left he was the only one who seemed qualified enough to handle SHIELD.
Evan(in a state of irritation): No wonder you have a breach of security now. Do whatever you feel like doing.You own NEWROID. Thats your box. I'm sorry I cannot be of any assistance.
Jeff: And why do you always forget to mention that you still own the other half of NEWROID.
Evan(seems tired): Christ ..not again J ..
Jeff: Evan ..please..we carved this empire from dust and scratch. Almost half the population of this planet survives on our products. Nobody knows we are the owners and run the show from the behind. You know very well the Beam9 project covers the most classified research details. Hell You started Beam9. It was all your theme. beam9 is the biggest gift to mankind one could imagine. You know that deep within you.
Evan(putting his head down): And beam9 is the biggest curse I rendered to myself ! Just hit Alt f1 on the keyboard. It will activate the mainframe updates. Lets move.

To be continued ...

Mytherion

2009-03-22T07:50:00.000-07:00

New aspirations joins this earth
blindly descends towards a school
where bitter thoughts take birth
by the vice teachings of the fools

the barren drifts of the day
and swallow mansion of inability
to understand the life's astray
this morning sneers invisibility

In the everglades of delusions
I burn the candle of splendor
But the school has its own conclusions
what a cadaverous surrender

I dig through pagan symbols
Just to find remnants of serenity
To my utter disgrace it resembles
that same mansion of inability

Our mystery permeates the wax
The candle stands opposed
Enslaves the world with such facts
our failures have juxtaposed

The wind of atrophy is never felt
As it ignites the fire of convictions
So I search for light on orion's belt
This planet feeds on false predictions

This morning has nothing to claim
My silence suffers the wrath
So here comes another night of pain
Engulfing with all that we lack

The journey man smiles at me
Pointing fingers at my daily facade
This mind is a lifeless tree
This heart has begin to fade

So I embrace the painful night
But the candle never stops
May be someday I'll reach the light
May be oneday I'll feel the raindrops

Therion

2009-03-22T05:39:00.000-07:00

Sound of door knocking !!
Jeff: Evan , ..get up . Its time. I have got your breakfast. We have got a long day ahead of us.
Evan (wakes up holding his gun and pointing straight to his head)
Evan : Tell me once again . Why there is another morning in my life ? Why cant these mornings just stop coming ? Tell me how I can make them go away ...
Silence(smiles) : Its very simple. Just dont surrender yourself to the nights.

Timeless Child

2009-03-20T07:05:00.000-07:00

This is my first attempt to cover a social menace. A final no to the issue of child molestation. I personally feel the sickness inside a pedophile is untreatable. The stats are available with most of the NGOs and other law enforcement agencies globally that children who goes through such horror are often over taken by prolonged post-traumatic stress and other psychological disorders while many of them end up in juvenile homes and prisons when they grow up. Please read the poem only if you wish to feel the pain of a child who gets physically abused instead of witnessing endless love from all the corners of the world.

******* : Stop Evan , stop ! please don't you fucking do it , I'm sorry for what I did back then ..no please dont kill me ..I don't wanna die
Evan (pointing his gun) : Neither I wanted to die back then !

Painting on a white paper piece
These shivering hands holds the brush
Need the right color from my valise
You do it slowly theres no rush
Sitting like a cornered stone
Lost in lullaby of my dreams
Just learned how to spell 'ozone'
Few reminiscence of self-esteem

Then you happened on a dark new day
Holding my fingers with a father's touch
Helping me with my sketches
Behind your eyes lived that ugly lust
You whispered every word of faith
Wish I could understand your plot
Fading innocence in every breathe
I was your sweetest jackpot

Mother Mary dont you hear

I always did my homework in time

Jesus dont you see my tears
That crash upon the filthy chimes
Every moment turned to hour
Trauma inflicted through that pain
Did my best to resist your power
That white paper and those red stains

I was left crawling in the doorway
As you zipped and left away with pride
You knew it was my eighth birthday
The day when my childhood died
sometimes I lived in Prozac,
sometimes I needed morphine
Yesterday I came out of rehab
Tomorrow I'm turning nineteen

Mother Mary dont you see now
I have got a hand full of guns
Every bullet has your name
Every moment has your burns
I'm trigger happy as I can be
Found you drunk at August's bar
Between your eyes I placed the three
Jesus you pushed me this far

Painting on a white paper piece
These trembling hands holds the brush
Your death was my final bliss
I painted slowly , there was no rush !

Theory of Conscience

2009-03-17T22:22:00.000-07:00

Silence : Have you ever wondered what lies between the right and the wrong , the good and the bad ?
Evan : Yeah . its called choice
Silence (smiles) : So whats your choice now ?
Evan (laughs) : Not to make another choice ever

Theres a silent foe that works for us all day long
Fuming whispers of faith is the sweetest song
Indoctrination through control of self-belief
Corruption of reality is what we can't perceive

Deception and lies , a systematic mind takeover
Apathy surges through the crimson leftovers

Trapped inside a dream nothing is real here
Guiding force of greed, what makes us all so clear
Enslaving us through a promise of liberty
Rising dust of voiceless and grim poverty

Deception and lies , a systematic mind takeover

Apathy surges through the genetic disorder

Theres a priest everywhere who promises redemption
Through vicious rituals and arsenal of damnation
Sinful as it seems , no one dares to question him
Rational thinking , logic wreaks fear to extreme

Deception and lies , a systematic mind takeover
Apathy surges through the wisdom of the older

Trade of self-interests is the only social cause
No guiding principles all philosophies are lost
All forms of ideologies, politics and endless pain
Theres fury in the land, false promises of heaven

Deception and lies , a systematic mind takeover
Apathy surges through the ignorant shover

Illusions of life, counter-enlightenment is here
May be it Allah or Christ, my truth is so unclear
The choice is silenced and consumed by prejudice
The gift of science is rendered for war not peace

Deception and lies , a systematic mind takeover
Apathy surges through this theological order

Theres a silent foe that guides us all day long
Invisible and invincible, right inside the sweetest song . . . :)

a-Void

2009-03-17T01:46:00.000-07:00

Drifting wind, moonlight theme
she wanders alone
Surging waves , land of green
her beauty has grown
As she walks through a tide of love
follows an unknown
Hiding fear, hiding grief
there waits a heart of stone

In her dreams she finds her peace
silence speaks here
As it seems she never sees
surpassing hope is near
Now she flies with her fairy wings
over this river of tears
A shadow casts to her springs
will she ever see the clear

Forlorn wait, the meadows dies
Echoes of silence rains
Thorns of fate, I pay the price
Whats left of rust and stains
Locked up gate, I 'm the shadow outside
And stare you fly over my pain

And stare you fly over my pain
Fly eternally till your wings burn
Fly till you hit the mirror of sane
Fly till you face the rays of my sun

Its in my ocean of wrath , my fairy you will learn
That there is a heart that burns for you to return

Void

2009-03-16T08:06:00.000-07:00

Evan : Hey did you see Ariel .. She looks all happy today. Appreciating everything around her. Thats the best thing I can hope for. Thats all that matters.
Silence : Yeah I can see her. Shes all lost in her dream world with her fantasies. Very soon she will elope her prince and forever will be in the arms of love. Thats a fairy tale ending isnt it.
Evan(smiling) : Yeah ! a fairy tale ending.
Silence : But ..
Evan : But what .. ??
Silence : But the prince isn't you Evan. Its not you. Its never you ! She is a fairy and she gets her fairy tale ending . Not you Evan ..not you
Evan : I have always lurked in the shadows ..I do not exist..you know that very well.. how does it make a difference anyway
Silence(smiles) : yeah thats also true .. nothing ever makes a difference anyway

Concave Mirror

2009-03-13T08:24:00.000-07:00

Line by line there is a wait
Inside a dream of mine
Watching the sun slowly fade
Drawing the final chalk line
Shadows of a bright yesterday
Craves for them to be defined
Like a mirage of a desert highway
Lost demurely at the sands of time

Theres an old blacksmith who stares
A world covered by broken swords
I see a priest who lost faith in his prayers
I see a poet who cannot find his words
Theres a beggar I find in every square
Waiting for the final breathe with a smile
Theres a child crying everywhere
Theres a prisoner with an eternal exile
Trembling hands of a tired widow
Ceaselessly trying to feel her existence
Glaring through a hidden suffering below
A soldier fights life with perilous persistence

Line by line these bleak thoughts cremate
And discolors this dream of mine
On swarms where such visions dilate
I fear another red sunshine
Shadows of a bright yesterday
Reveals nothing but a vague design
They will forever fly over the same highway
Where the miniature of our sins align

From Dusk to Ashes

2009-03-10T07:34:00.000-07:00

Jeff : I have been wondering was it worth all the hardwork , money and fame
Silence : Your life is worth everything. You are an asset to your country. You are an 'expendable' asset.

. . . . .

He sits on his couch after a day of dedication
Smokes a cigarette his constant medication
The fading sunlight filters through the window
And falls on his hands like a discolored rainbow

He shuts his eyes just to see something worth
Inside his memories till the moment from his birth
Asking a question to a soul that is departed
Exhaling his demise from every silent puff

From rags to riches he has conquered the world
With nothingness inside , a cold story unfurled
He silently griefs for the end of an innocent child
Long lost in the woods of a lost paradise

In the midst of sorrow lies an abyss of dark void
Dreams of tomorrow dies through a misplaced tabloid
Gold street lights glows what seems an empty night
Contorting visions of a crown less knight

A malignant fall on the highest peak of his of might
Encumbered throughout by disbelief in whats right
With no one to share and not much to gain
The sound of the truth by a voice rendered quite

The tears have dried beneath the rubble of desires
Like a sweet drug of solace that swiftly expires
Clinging to the memories his eyes slowly opens
To embrace a life on a fountain of quagmires

. . . . .

Extinct Soul

2009-03-09T05:43:00.000-07:00

There is a one way street on a little left of the uphill
Where the clouds bring no rain
There is a ragged man who walks through the life's standstill
On this street time and again

Dying orchids witness a late autumn from the sky
Decaying leaves of imagination remains

There is a miracle that awaits in the forlorn corners of rust
For a mother watching her child in dismay
Looking on the lower window covered by a leap of dust
The humble sunset conclude another day

Fading by the moment the walls of wish chatters
Inside a castle of the ragged man's dream
Shinning on contempt the pieces of hope scatters
Through a conviction of futile redeem

There is a deserted coffee shop swirling a pale invitation
To a chromatic world of lost harmony
Ascending by the hourglass a touch of tale creation
On a note of broken symphony

Chasing the feeble thoughts the twisted rigs unfurls
Into a casket of silenced mind
A grim coldness in heart and sublime beauty of young girls
Scripting an art for the blind

Beneath the perils, the shadow of the child keeps moving
Asking the ragged man's ambition
Casting a stalemate , the emptiness keeps improving
My life undergoes the final transition

The Lost Navigator

2009-03-09T03:16:00.002-07:00

Ariel : Why do you talk to my silence ? Is it not the exact place where you are not suppose to be ..
Evan : Ariel you know I'm deaf and I cant hear anything . I can't hear anything but your silence . . .

---------------

The sense of life swims on a river of thoughts
Sailing on a broken boat he ties the knots
Drowning forever he feels the absence of water
Echoing forever its her voices and laughter

He shuts his eyes against the drifting wind
Embracing a world that's shattered and sinned
The waves crash slowly against his will of mind
He tries the math just to turn back time

A quantum of truth quickly trembles his boat
On a vacuum of hearts and unread notes
He quietly obeys the grim departure
From his mind , the sunset and soul

His voyage to a blackhole of subtle revelations
Exploring her memories on extinct constellations
Falls to a land affected by an earthquake of love
With its epicenter in pain and dark skies above

The boat has crumbled and wrecked from inside
Yet he swims just to get a glimpse of her sight
Lost fragments of life welded through a stone
Its in her soul that he can find his home

Alter Halo

2009-03-09T03:16:00.001-07:00

Digging reasons from the past
Eroding an ugly tale of thought
It wasn't like you thought it was
Shattered glass of a mirrored plot
Resembling every discolored sketch
You linger in the empty canvas
Assembling all the nameless pledge
You finger tip your greedy anxious
Freaked up to your every nerve
You hate to find any trace of love
Tearing pages you don't observe
Flying like a clueless dove

I am only here to wait
I can only live the night
I will chew the past to rest
For a better cause buried inside
All my words will complicate you
As I'm the ghost of your sight
I will never put forth an argue
I'm the snake that cannot bite
Freaked up to your every breathe
You treat my words like some trash
Messed up deep inside your head
All your thoughts collide and crash

You wish the past be dead and gone
You wish that you never faltered
You wish your past had a better someone
You wish that I never occurred

You wish the past be altered
You wish the past be ripped from the start
Watch me die as it plays backward
You wish my existence to fall apart

X.11

2009-03-09T03:14:00.000-07:00

I'm filtering the broken bones
I'm listening to the filthy chimes of time
I'm buried inside the grave
Fluctuation

I'm sitting on this fragile throne
I'm speaking to the stinking new enzymes
I'm trapped inside this cave
Urination

I'm hitting myself with stone
I'm cribbing with my shaky hands of crime
I'm wrapped by this wave
Condensation

I'm living in this catacomb
I'm chewing my feet with every climb
I'm just a bonded slave
Keyrelation

I'm willing to get me out of here
I'm raping my heart with every pine
I am sick being defeated fair and square
Ultimation

Come motherfucker - Embrace your darkness !

resident Zero

2009-03-09T03:13:00.001-07:00

Nothing ever seems to fit
between the lines and your point of view
Nothing will ever seem to fit
As I lie , between the silence and you

You feel this life
from the gravels of a corned stone
There must be something that unravels
Inside the meadows of your unknown

Your hand feels the wind,
timelessly that has flown
Questioning an indelible stain
That lies inside the stillness when you are alone

You feed the mind
with a conclusion of your own
Like judging a book from its cover
Whose blank pages can be seen , from the eye of my cyclone

You need some answers
to unclench your fist of doubts
That relentlessly hide
Inside the nothingness of your shouts

Why life feels so incomplete
when you have all the reasons to smile
And you walk this one way street
While witnessing the last of your thoughts exile

What is so strange about your shadow
That drifts away from your path
You search the bow for that arrow
That painted this empire of scars and scratch

Nothing ever seems to fit
between the lines and your point of view
Nothing will ever seem to fit
As I lie , between the silence and you

Black Clue

2009-03-09T03:09:00.000-07:00

A slave to the curse , you wish for the death
Exhaling all your sins, you take every breathe
Assimilating every thought, surpassing the remains
You found yourself atlast , trespassing the realms of pain

Chained by contempt , you live through your convictions
Regretting every moment, you feed through this conventions
A slave to the deep, you are blinded by faceless mutations
Inside you creep, embracing your cold and deceptive creations

Its buried inside you , the darkest of dark truths
A black reality keeps you blinded from seeing what you should
Your mind bears this burden as others craft savage conclusions
about you and your life , for them its all convincing illusions

So feeble as your heart, that looks dark without any light
A fragility of your shadows, speaks of voiceless plight
Engraved inside your questions, are not the answers of time
But traits of soul redemption , that your long lost mind can't find

Your wounds are natural, just like the decomposition of the dead
An unfolding neutral, is surprised by such artificiality of your hate
This curse remains catalyzed, deep inside your life constantly shatters
Like your facts lie paralyzed , untouched to the soul that matters

A wrath of fate , your wonders slowly conclude a wait
A close divinity within a borderline where nothingness dictate
Your slavery speaks in itself , finds the clue to a fallen piece
A dark enlightenment takes a birth , inside the womb of broken peace